Pegging 101: What It Is, How to Do It, First-Time Steps, Positions & the Best Strap-Ons

Pegging is when one partner, most often a woman, wears a strap-on dildo and fucks a man's ass. The word also covers anyone of any gender wearing a strap-on and penetrating a partner anally. For the person receiving, the prize is usually the prostate. For the wearer, it's the view, the control and the delicious role swap.

Here's the appeal: it flips the script you've both been running for years. The person who usually does the fucking gets fucked. The person who usually receives gets to drive.

Below: what it feels like on both ends, whether it says anything about your sexuality (no), how to ask, what gear to buy, prep, a 10-step first time, seven positions, wearer technique, troubleshooting, safety and our favorite strap-ons. (This is the sex kind of pegging, not the currency kind.)

What’s in this guide

• What is pegging?
• Is pegging gay?
• How common is pegging, and do women like it?
• Why pegging feels so good
• What does pegging feel like?
• How to bring up pegging with your partner
• What you need for pegging
• How to prepare for pegging
• How to peg for the first time, step by step
• The best pegging positions
• Technique tips for the wearer
• Pegging troubleshooting
• Pegging safety
• Aftercare and cleanup
• The best strap-ons and toys for pegging
• Pegging FAQ
• Ready to swap roles?

What is pegging?

Pegging, defined: one partner wears a strap-on (a dildo held in place by a harness, or a strapless toy) and penetrates their partner's ass. The classic setup is a woman pegging a man, but any giver and any receiver count.

The word is young. It caught on in the early 2000s after an advice column asked its readers to name the act, and their pick stuck.

Here's who does it:

• Women pegging men. The setup most searches mean, and the one this guide mostly speaks to. Everyone else, welcome: the technique is the same.
• Anyone with a prostate receiving. Men, trans women and nonbinary folks with a prostate all have the same P-spot to play with.
• Anyone receiving. Women and others without a prostate get pegged too; the nerve-rich opening does the work (more below).
• Any gender giving. Queer women, trans and nonbinary partners, and men wearing a strap-on.

"Pegging someone" means you're the one wearing the strap-on. "Getting pegged" means you're the one bending over. Simple.

Is pegging gay?

No. Sexual orientation is about who you're attracted to, not which part of your body feels good. A straight man who loves his girlfriend fucking him with a strap-on is a straight man with excellent taste.

The worry is common. A lot of men grew up hearing that enjoying anything near their ass says something about them. It doesn't. The prostate doesn't know or care who's touching it. It just responds to the right pressure, the same way a clit doesn't check anyone's orientation before it gets hard.

If pegging turns you on, that tells you one thing: pegging turns you on. Nobody owns the strap-on.

How common is pegging, and do women like it?

There's no reliable figure for how many couples peg. Here's what the research does show:

• The fantasy is common. In a survey of 4,175 US adults reported in sex researcher Justin Lehmiller's 2018 book Tell Me What You Want, 58.1% of men, of all orientations, had fantasized about receiving anal sex. And 39.6% of women had fantasized about giving anal sex with a penis or strap-on.
• Plenty of straight men have tried receiving. In a 2025 study in the journal Sexual Medicine, 17% of heterosexual cisgender men (55 of 330, from an online panel) had ever had receptive anal sex, counting anything a partner inserted: a finger, tongue, toy or penis. It didn't single out strap-ons.

So do women like pegging? Some love it, some find it fine, some aren't into it. Women who enjoy it often mention:

• The power. Setting the pace and the depth, and watching him take it, is a rush.
• The view. Seeing a partner come apart under you is hot from any angle.
• The empathy. Wearers often say they finally understand what receiving asks of a body, and what it gives.
• Their own pleasure. A grinding base, a vibrating strap-on or a strapless toy with a clit pad gives the wearer plenty to feel, too.

Why pegging feels so good

The prostate (the P-spot)

The prostate is a gland about the size of a walnut. It sits about 2 inches inside the ass, on the front wall, toward the belly. Through the rectal wall it feels like a smooth, slightly firmer rounded bump. Press or stroke it the right way and many people describe a deep, full, spreading pleasure that's different from anything their cock does on its own.

That's why "aim toward the belly button" is the most useful sentence in this guide. A dildo that curves toward the front wall keeps pressure on the P-spot as you stroke. Our guide to the best prostate massagers covers the solo version.

The opening

The anal opening is loaded with nerve endings, and the stretch and slide at the entrance feel great on their own, even with no prostate in the picture. That's why people without a prostate enjoy anal too, and why slow, shallow strokes right at the rim can be the best part.

The head game

Pegging is a power swap. The wearer gets to be in charge, and the receiver gets to let go: no performing, no getting hard on cue, nothing to do but feel it. For a lot of men that surrender is the hottest part. Some couples lean into dominance and dirty talk; others keep it tender and laugh the whole time. Both are pegging.

What does pegging feel like?

For the person receiving

• Fullness and pressure. The first sensation is usually a stretch at the opening, then a full, pushing feeling inside.
• The "need to poop" feeling. Very common at first, because the toy is pressing where poop usually is. It usually fades in a minute or two once things settle. It doesn't mean you're actually about to go.
• Prostate pleasure. When the head strokes the front wall, it can feel like a deep, warm ache that builds and spreads. Some people notice a little clear leaking from their cock.
• Orgasms that feel different. Some people come hands-free from prostate play. Others need a hand on their cock to finish. Some come without being hard at all. All normal.
• The mental part. Being held down, opened up and fucked by someone you trust can feel intensely intimate, vulnerable and hot.

The first time is often more "interesting" than earth-shaking. It gets better as your body learns to relax, so judge it on round three.

For the wearer

You won't feel the dildo the way you'd feel your own fingers. What you do get: pressure from the base against your mound, clit or pubic bone, the grind of your hips, his ass pushing back against you, and the sight and sound of him reacting. Want more physical sensation? A vibrating strap-on or a strapless toy with a clit pad gives you plenty (see gear).

How to bring up pegging with your partner

Bring it up when you're both relaxed and dressed, and pitch it as curiosity, not a confession.

If you want to be pegged, try:

• "I've been curious about my ass. Would you want to explore that with me?"
• "I keep thinking about you wearing a strap-on. Would you ever try it?"

If you want to peg your partner, try:

• "I want to be in charge one night. Like, fully in charge. Interested?"
• "Have you ever been curious about prostate play? I'd love to be the one who shows you."

Then listen: what excites them, what worries them. Agree on a stop word ("red" to stop, "yellow" to slow down) that either of you can use any time, no explanation needed.

If they say no, take it gracefully and drop it. If they say "maybe," start smaller: a finger during a blowjob, a small plug during sex, or watching them use a prostate toy solo. And if your partner asked you, it's fine to need a few days to think. A no is a full answer, and so is "not yet."

What you need for pegging

The short list: a harness, a dildo, a lot of lube and towels. Harnesses, dildos and kits live in our strap-ons and harnesses collection.

Harness types

Harness type	How it fits	Who it suits	Trade-offs
O-ring harness (waist and thigh straps)	A waist belt plus two straps under the butt and around the thighs; the dildo sits in a ring at the front	Most first-timers; you choose any compatible dildo	Takes a minute to adjust; needs a dildo with a flared base that fits the ring
Thigh harness	A wide band around one thigh holds the dildo	Riding positions and new angles	Less control for deep thrusting; needs a flared-base dildo
Underwear-style harness	Shorts or briefs with a pocket or ring for the shaft	Wearers who want it to feel like lingerie	Fit depends on your size range; fewer adjustment points
Strapless strap-on	One end goes inside the wearer and is held there; the other end is the shaft	Wearers with a vagina who want to feel every thrust	Takes practice to keep it in place; not for every body
All-in-one kit	Harness and dildo sold together, often vibrating	Couples who want one box and no compatibility homework	Fewer choices on size and fit

For an O-ring harness, start with the Strap-On-Me Curious (it ships with two belt sizes, from XS up to XXL) or, for a wearer with a penis, the Montero, whose straps keep the scrotum clear. For the underwear style, the Gender X Snuggle Up is lace booty shorts with a pocket for its dual-motor shaft, fitting 30- to 40-inch waists. The rest are in the picks.

Choosing a dildo for pegging

Start with something slimmer than you think. The rules:

• Slim. Width matters far more than length for comfort. Our slimmest harness-ready picks start at 0.9 inches wide (the Simply Sweet small plug), and most first-timers stay at or under 1.5.
• Curved toward the P-spot. A gentle curve or angled head keeps pressure on the prostate.
• Flared base. Anything that goes in an ass needs a base that stays outside. It's also what holds the dildo in an O-ring harness.
• Silicone. Smooth, nonporous and easy to clean.
• Firm with a little give. Too floppy and it folds; too rigid and every wobble of your hips lands hard.

Here's a real size ladder, every number from our listings, every toy wearable with a harness or strapless:

Toy	Length	Width	Shape	Stage
Simply Sweet plug, small	3.5 in insertable	0.9 in	Ribbed, tapered tip	First steps
Simply Sweet plug, medium	3.75 in insertable	1.2 in	Corkscrew spirals	First steps
Mighty Rider (strapless)	5.2 in insertable	1 to 1.3 in	Slightly curved	First times
Strap-On-Me Squirting Dildo	7.7 in overall	1.4 in	Shaped for the G-spot or P-spot	First times
Simply Sweet plug, large	4.25 in insertable	1.5 in	Dips along the shaft	Next step
Temptasia Bellatrix	6.25 in long	1.5 in	Curved for the G-spot or prostate	Next step
Vedo Diki (kit)	7.5 in overall	1.5 in	Flexible, vibrating	Next step
Vedo Strapped (kit)	7.9 in long	1.5 in max	Textured ridges, vibrating	Next step
Mustang VixSkin	6.5 in insertable	1.6 in	Slender, veined	Experienced
Creature Cocks Orion Invader	6 in insertable	1.3 to 2.3 in	Ribbed, curved tip, flared base	Experienced

The smartest buy on that list: the Simply Sweet 3 Piece Silicone Butt Plug Set. Each flared base slots into most strap-on harnesses, so the same set that trains him solo becomes your first strap-on ladder. The Temptasia Bellatrix is a curved silicone toy with a suction-cup base that also fits an O-ring harness, so it works solo first and strapped on later. More shapes live in our dildos collection and our guide to the best dildos. Practicing solo first? Read our guide to using a dildo for anal and strap-on play.

Strapless and double-ended options

Think of a strapless strap-on as a double-ended toy with no straps: one end, a bulb, stays inside the wearer, and the shaft goes in the receiver. The wearer feels every thrust, but keeping it seated takes practice, so a harness is easier the first time. The Mighty Rider is our featured strapless toy. The Ergo-Fit Strapless has a bulb you inflate for a custom fit, and the Together Strapless Vibe has a flexible shaft you can angle toward your partner's P-spot.

Lube for pegging

The ass doesn't make its own lube, so this isn't optional. Use more than you think, then add more.

Lube type	Safe with silicone toys?	Safe with latex condoms?	Notes
Water-based	Yes, with every toy material	Yes	The safe default; reapply as it absorbs
Thick water-based anal formula	Yes	Yes	Our first pick for pegging: more cushion, still easy to rinse
Silicone-based	Can damage silicone toys (patch-test, or use water-based)	Yes	Lasts longest; great with glass, metal or ABS toys
Oil-based	Can break down soft toy materials	No, it degrades latex	Skip it for pegging

Our go-to is Jo Anal H2O: water-based, thicker than standard JO H2O, fine with silicone and every other toy material, fine with latex condoms, and made with no numbing agents. That last part matters. Skip any "desensitizing" anal lube: pain is the signal that tells you to slow down, and you want to hear it. More options are in our lube collection.

Starter checklist

• A harness and a slim, flared-base dildo, or an all-in-one kit.
• Thick water-based lube, a full bottle, within reach.
• Two towels: one under him, one for your hands.
• Condoms for the dildo if you'll share toys or want faster cleanup.
• Gloves (optional) for fingering.
• A pillow for under his hips, plus wipes and water on the nightstand.

How to prepare for pegging

For the person receiving

• Practice solo first. A finger in the shower, then a small plug from our butt plugs. The b-Vibe Rookie Beginners Starter Plug is shaped like a finger, with 3.5 insertable inches, a 1-inch width and a flared base. Our anal training kits step you up gradually, and the best butt plugs guide has more.
• Find your P-spot alone. A curved prostate toy shows you what pressure you like before anyone straps on. The Playboy Come Hither has a tip that performs a beckoning motion, 4 inches insertable. Browse more prostate massagers.
• Go to the bathroom beforehand, then shower and wash around your ass with mild soap and warm water.
• About rinsing out: some people like to rinse inside first. It's optional. For most people, a pre-play bathroom trip and a shower are enough.

For the wearer

• Trim and file your nails. Fingers come first, and the rectal lining is delicate.
• Try the harness on beforehand. Adjust it while you're dressed and calm, not with a hard-on waiting.
• Practice the movement. Kneel on the bed and rock your hips in the harness. You'll look ridiculous. That's fine.

Together

Towel down, lube open, lights low, phone face down. Say the stop word out loud. Plan on lots of foreplay and zero pressure to "finish" anything.

How to peg for the first time, step by step

Written from the wearer's side. Receiver, read it too: you're the one steering.

1. Get him turned on first. Kiss, suck, stroke. A relaxed, aroused body opens up far more easily than a nervous one.
2. Start outside. Lube your fingers and massage around his hole in slow circles. Press gently on the skin between his balls and his ass, too. Wait until he pushes back toward your hand.
3. One finger, then two. Slide one well-lubed finger in, pad facing his belly. About 2 inches in, curl it in a slow come-hither motion and feel for the firm, rounded bump of his prostate. Add a second finger only when he asks for it.
4. Lube everything again. The dildo, the condom if you're using one, and his hole. Keep the bottle open next to you.
5. Pick an easy position. For a first time, put him on top, where he controls the depth, or spoon on your sides for short, gentle strokes (see positions). You control almost nothing yet, and that's the point.
6. Let him back onto you. Rest the tip against his hole and hold still. Have him breathe out and bear down gently while he slides back onto the head. Never push the tip in yourself on the first entry.
7. Pause. Once the head is in, stop for at least 30 seconds. He has two rings of muscle at the entrance, and the inner one isn't under conscious control. It relaxes on its own when it's given time.
8. Tiny strokes. Rock in and out an inch or two, slow enough that one stroke takes a full breath. Angle the head toward his belly button. Ask "more, less or the same?" and believe the answer. You don't need to go deep: the prostate sits about 2 inches in, so the first few inches do most of the work.
9. Build slowly. Lengthen your strokes, then add speed, only as he asks. Reach around and stroke his cock if he wants it. Check in with a word or a squeeze every minute or two.
10. Pull out slowly. When you're done, ask him to breathe out and ease the toy out in one slow, steady glide. Never yank it. Then hold him.

The golden rule: the receiver sets the pace for the first entry, every single time. Sharp pain means stop. Pressure and stretch are normal; sharp pain isn't.

The best pegging positions

Position	Who controls depth	Best for	Difficulty
Receiver on top	Receiver	First times, full control	Easy
Spooning	Shared	Gentle, shallow, intimate	Easy
Missionary with a pillow	Wearer	Eye contact, stroking his cock	Medium
Doggy	Wearer	Deeper strokes, a classic power position	Medium
Edge of the bed	Wearer	Leverage for the wearer, saving knees	Medium
Prone bone	Wearer	Snug, shallow, low effort for him	Easy
Seated (chair or thigh harness)	Receiver	Riding, grinding, making out	Medium

Receiver on top

You lie on your back. He straddles your hips, facing you or facing your feet, and lowers himself onto the dildo at his own speed. The best first-time position, because he controls every millimeter while you hold his hips and stroke his cock.

Spooning

Both of you on your sides, you behind him, his top knee lifted toward his chest. Strokes stay shallow and slow, exactly what a nervous first time needs, and your hand is right there to reach around.

Missionary with a pillow under his hips

He lies on his back with a pillow under his hips and his knees pulled toward his chest (or his ankles on your shoulders). You kneel between his legs. The pillow tilts his ass up so your dildo slides toward his prostate, and you get eye contact and full access to his cock.

Doggy

He's on all fours, you kneel behind him. The classic. His prostate faces the mattress here, so angle your strokes slightly down, or mount the dildo with its curve pointing down. Have him lower his chest to the mattress to change the angle. It's easy to go too deep here, so keep strokes short at first.

Edge of the bed

He lies on his back at the edge of the bed, or bends over it with his feet on the floor. You stand, so the leverage comes from your legs instead of your knees. This one saves a tired wearer.

Prone bone

He lies flat on his stomach with a pillow under his hips. You lie over him, propped on your arms. Strokes stay shallow and snug, he barely has to move, and you can talk right into his ear.

Seated

You sit on a sturdy chair or the edge of the bed, and he lowers himself onto you, facing you or facing away. Riding with a hug built in. A thigh harness like the Sportsheets Ultra Thigh Strap On adds options: strap it to your thigh and let him ride your leg while you kiss him.

Technique tips for the wearer

• Move from your hips and core, not your back. Tuck your pelvis forward on the in-stroke, like a slow body roll. Thrusting from your lower back tires you out fast.
• Watch, because you can't feel. The dildo gives you no feedback, so his breathing, sounds and hips are your instruments. If he goes quiet or tense, slow down.
• Grind as much as you thrust. Once you're deep, small circles and rocking against his prostate can feel better than long strokes.
• Use your hands. Hold the base on the first strokes to steady the angle. Then grip his hips to set the rhythm, or reach around for his cock.
• Talk. "Good boy," "take it," "tell me how it feels." Or keep it sweet. Words make it hotter.
• Keep the harness tight. Recheck straps between positions. A snug base gives you control and pressure on your own mound.
• Get yours. Choose a toy the wearer feels too. The Vedo Strapped vibrates for the wearer as well as the receiver, and strapless toys put a clit pad right where you grind.

Pegging troubleshooting

Problem	Likely cause	Fix
It hurts going in	Too fast, too little lube, too big, or he's tense	Stop, add lube, go back to fingers or a smaller toy, let him back onto it
"I feel like I need to poop"	Normal pressure on the rectum	Pause and hold still; it usually fades in a minute or two
He loses his erection	Normal: nerves, focus or simply the sensation	Nothing to fix; stroke it, or ignore it and keep going
He feels nothing much	Angle or depth is off	Aim toward his belly button, slow down, use a curved toy, stroke his cock at the same time
Harness slips or droops	Loose straps, or a dildo base that's too small for the ring	Tighten every strap; use a dildo with a wider flared base
Dildo keeps slipping out	Strokes too long, or angle changing	Shorter strokes, keep your hips close, hand on the base
Wearer gets tired	Thrusting from the back or knees	Switch to him on top, the edge of the bed or spooning
He's too tense to relax	Nerves about pain, mess or what it means	Slow way down, go back to fingers or a small plug, talk it through, or try another night
A little mess	Normal with anal	Towels down, wipes close, laugh, shower together

About erections: he might be rock hard, half hard or completely soft, and all of those are normal. Prostate pleasure doesn't need an erection, and some people come without one.

Pegging safety

• Flared base, always. Anything that goes in an ass needs a flared base, a handle, or a base that stays outside. The ass can pull a toy without one all the way in.
• Go slow and never force. Pressure and stretch are normal. Sharp pain means stop.
• Lube, a lot of it. Water-based lube suits every toy and every condom. Silicone-based lube may harm a silicone toy, so test a small spot first or keep to water-based. Oil weakens latex condoms and breaks down soft toys.
• No numbing lubes. You want to feel pain if it happens.
• Never go from ass to anywhere else. Never move a toy or finger from an ass to a vagina or mouth without washing it or changing the condom first.
• Condoms on shared toys. STIs can pass on a shared dildo. Put a fresh condom on the toy for each partner, or wash it between partners, and get tested together if you don't know each other's status.
• When to talk to your doctor: pain that sticks around, bleeding that doesn't stop quickly, or if you have hemorrhoids, a fissure, a bowel condition or recent surgery down there and want to know if anal play is okay for you. If a toy ever gets stuck inside the rectum, get medical help right away.

Aftercare and cleanup

Emotional aftercare

Pegging can stir up a lot. Hold each other, bring water, and ask "what was your favorite part?" and "anything different next time?" Some men feel vulnerable afterward. Tell him he was hot. Mean it.

Body care

A warm shower and a gentle wash with mild soap. Feeling a little tender the next day can happen. Pain or bleeding that doesn't settle is a reason to talk to your doctor.

Cleaning your gear

• Silicone dildos and plugs: wash with warm water and mild soap, rinse well, and let them air dry fully before storing.
• Toy cleaner: JO Refresh Foaming Toy Cleaner is safe on silicone, latex, rubber and most other toy materials. Foam it on, give it a minute, then rinse.
• Rechargeable toys: only submerge the ones whose listings say submersible, and keep charging ports dry.
• Harnesses: follow any care notes that come with yours. If there aren't any, wipe leatherette and faux leather with a damp cloth and a little mild soap, hand wash neoprene and fabric in warm soapy water, and let everything air dry.

The best strap-ons and toys for pegging

Every pick below was chosen for one job in pegging, and every fact comes from its listing. For harnesses and dildos beyond pegging, with waist-fit and ring-size charts, see our 12 best strap-ons.

Pick	Best for	Price
Strap-On-Me Curious Leatherette Harness	Your first harness	$68.95
Temptasia Bellatrix	Your first pegging dildo	$23.95
Simply Sweet 3 Piece Plug Set	Warm-up and a strap-on size ladder	from $32.95
Montero Strap On Harness	Wearers with a penis	$44.95
Sportsheets Ultra Thigh Strap On	Riding and new angles	$43.95
Vedo Diki	All-in-one vibrating kit	$84.95
Vedo Strapped	A kit the wearer feels too	$69.95
Mighty Rider	Strapless pegging	$110.95
Jo Anal H2O	The lube	from $12.95

1. Strap-On-Me Curious Leatherette Harness: the first harness

The hardest part of a first harness is fit, and the Curious comes with two belts, one for XS to M and a bigger one for L to XXL. Adjustable waist and thigh straps snug it to your body, and the double stretchy silicone ring holds whatever flared-base dildo you choose. Every Strap-On-Me dildo fits it, and it was made with pegging in mind.

The bonus: the spare belt doubles as handcuffs. Leatherette, mostly polyurethane. $68.95.

Get the Curious Harness here.

2. Temptasia Bellatrix: the first pegging dildo

The toy we'd hand a nervous couple: a soft, curved silicone shaft designed to press into the prostate (or the G-spot), 6.25 inches long and 1.5 inches at the widest point. The curve does the aiming for you, which matters when the wearer can't feel what the tip is touching.

It's O-ring harness compatible, and its strong suction cup sticks to smooth, flat surfaces. That means he can practice solo first, then you strap the same toy on. It warms with the body. $23.95.

Get the Temptasia Bellatrix here.

3. Simply Sweet 3 Piece Silicone Butt Plug Set: the warm-up that becomes a ladder

Three silicone plugs, firm with a little flex, that size up step by step: small (3.5 inches insertable, 0.9 inches wide), medium (3.75 inches, 1.2 inches) and large (4.25 inches, 1.5 inches). Each has its own texture (ribs, corkscrew spirals or dips), so sizing up also means a new sensation.

The genius part for pegging: those wide bases stick down like suction cups, and they slot into most strap-on harnesses. He trains on them solo, then you wear the small one for his first strap-on night. From $32.95.

Get the Simply Sweet Set here.

4. Montero Strap On Harness: for wearers with a penis

Wearers with a penis need a harness that doesn't pinch. The Montero's 4-way adjustable straps are positioned to keep the scrotum clear, and you can trim the excess strap for a custom fit. It adjusts to hips as large as 69 inches.

It snaps to take different O-ring sizes and includes a swappable 2-inch ring, so changing dildos is easy. Faux leather with metal hardware, harness only. $44.95.

Get the Montero Harness here.

5. Sportsheets Ultra Thigh Strap On: the new angle

Soft, stretchy neoprene, 6 inches wide, with a reinforced 1.75-inch nitrile O-ring for a flared-base dildo. Strap it to your thigh and let him ride it while you sit back, kiss him and watch. You can also strap it around an arm, a knee or a pillow.

The hook-and-loop closure fits about 17 to 32 inches of thigh or limb. The dildo is sold separately: pair it with an O-ring compatible dildo like the Bellatrix. $43.95.

Get the Ultra Thigh Strap On here.

6. Vedo Diki Rechargeable Vibrating Dildo and Harness: the all-in-one kit

One box, no compatibility homework: a silicone dildo, a remote and an adjustable pleather harness that's one size fits most. Two motors run a range of vibration modes and intensities, all set from the remote. The shaft is flexible, 7.5 inches overall and 1.5 inches wide.

It's waterproof and submersible, USB rechargeable (about 90 minutes of play from a 90-minute charge), and has a travel lock. The suction base sticks it to a flat surface for solo play too. $84.95.

Get the Vedo Diki here.

7. Vedo Strapped Rechargeable Vibrating Strap On: the kit the wearer feels too

The wearer feels the vibration too: 10 modes across 6 intensity levels run through a silicone shaft with textured ridges. A remote changes modes without breaking rhythm.

It measures 7.9 inches long with a 1.5-inch max diameter, includes an adjustable harness that fits most bodies, is fully submersible and recharges over USB. Save it for once the ridges sound fun instead of scary. $69.95.

Get the Vedo Strapped here.

8. Mighty Rider Strapless Strap-On: no harness at all

Built for pegging, no harness needed. The wearer holds a 4-inch insertable bulb inside, and the slightly curved shaft (5.2 inches insertable, 1 to 1.3 inches wide) targets his prostate. A textured clit pad rubs and buzzes against you as you thrust.

Dual motors give 3 intensities and 7 patterns, from buttons on the base or the wireless remote. It's IPX7, so it's submersible, and the toy and remote both charge over USB. $110.95. Also worth a look: the Strap U, where one of three motors licks the wearer's clit.

Get the Mighty Rider here.

9. Jo Anal H2O Lubricant: the non-negotiable

This is a thicker, higher-viscosity version of JO H2O, made for anal: more cushion, zero oil, wax or silicone, a clean rinse with water, and no stains. Use it with silicone toys, any other toy material and latex condoms.

It contains no numbing agents, so you both stay tuned to his body's signals. Using glass, metal or ABS toys? Jo Anal Premium Silicone Lubricant is thicker and extra long-lasting, but it isn't for silicone toys. From $12.95.

Get the Jo Anal H2O here.

Pegging FAQ

What does pegging mean?

Pegging means one partner wears a strap-on and penetrates the other partner's ass. Classically it's a woman pegging a man, but the word now covers any gender wearing the strap-on and any partner receiving. "Pegging someone" means you're wearing it; "getting pegged" means you're receiving. The term caught on in the early 2000s.

Is pegging gay?

No. Sexual orientation is about who you're attracted to, not which body part feels good. A straight man who enjoys being pegged by his girlfriend is still straight. The prostate responds to pressure, not to anyone's gender. If you're queer, pegging is yours too. It's a sex act, not an identity.

Do women like pegging?

Some love it, and plenty are curious: in a survey of 4,175 US adults from Justin Lehmiller's 2018 book Tell Me What You Want, 39.6% of women had fantasized about giving anal sex with a penis or strap-on. Women who enjoy pegging usually mention the power, the view, the role swap and their own pleasure from a grinding base or a vibrating toy.

How common is pegging?

There's no reliable "percent of couples" figure, but the interest is real. In a survey of 4,175 US adults from Justin Lehmiller's 2018 book Tell Me What You Want, 58.1% of men, of all orientations, had fantasized about receiving anal sex. And a 2025 study in Sexual Medicine found 17% of heterosexual cisgender men had ever had receptive anal sex, from fingers to toys.

What does pegging feel like?

For the receiver, it starts as stretch and fullness, often with a brief "need to poop" feeling, then a deep, building pleasure when the toy strokes the prostate. Some people come hands-free, some need a hand on their cock. For the wearer, it's pressure on the mound or clit, the grind of your hips, the control and the view.

Does pegging hurt?

It shouldn't. A stretch and some pressure are normal, especially at entry, but sharp pain means stop. Pain usually comes from going too fast, too little lube or a toy that's too big. Start with fingers, use a slim toy and lots of thick water-based lube, and let the receiver back onto it. Pain or bleeding that doesn't stop means talk to your doctor.

How do you prepare for pegging?

Practice solo first with fingers and a small plug. On the day, the receiver goes to the bathroom, showers and washes with mild soap. The wearer trims their nails and tries the harness on. Together, agree on a stop word, lay down towels, open the lube and plan on plenty of foreplay before anything goes inside.

What size dildo should you use for pegging?

Start slimmer than you think, with a gentle curve toward the belly and a flared base. Width matters more than length. The Simply Sweet set's small plug (0.9 inches wide) is the gentlest start, and the Temptasia Bellatrix (1.5 inches) is the next step; both work in a harness. Size up only when the smaller one feels easy.

Do you need to douche before pegging?

No, not for most people. A bathroom trip beforehand and a shower are enough. Some people like to rinse inside first (douching), and that's optional, never required. A little mess is possible with anal, so keep towels and wipes close and don't let the worry ruin the fun.

Can you peg without a strap-on harness?

Yes. A strapless strap-on like the Mighty Rider has a bulb the wearer holds inside, so there are no straps at all. You can also hold a flared-base dildo by hand, which gives you precise control on a first try, or strap a thigh harness to your leg for riding positions.

What lube is best for pegging?

Thick, water-based anal lube, such as Jo Anal H2O. It's safe with silicone toys and latex condoms, rinses off with water and has no numbing agents. Silicone lube lasts longer but can damage silicone toys, and oil degrades latex condoms. Whatever you choose, use a lot and reapply often.

What if he gets hard, or loses his erection, during pegging?

Both are completely normal. Some men stay hard the whole time, some go soft as they focus on the new sensation, and some come without being hard at all. Prostate pleasure doesn't depend on an erection. Stroke his cock if he wants it, ignore it if he doesn't, and keep going as long as it feels good.

Ready to swap roles?

Pegging comes down to five things: talk first, start small, use more lube than seems reasonable, let the receiver set the pace, and aim toward the belly button. The rest is practice, which is the fun part.

Start with a harness and a slim dildo from our strap-ons and harnesses collection, warm up with something from our anal toys or vibrating butt plugs, and read our guides to the best butt plugs and best anal beads for what comes next. Want a gentler way to learn each other first? Try mutual masturbation. And for toys you can both feel at once, see the best sex toys for couples.

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Maya Sterling, AdultLuxe editorial. Read our editorial standards.