How to Eat Pussy: Cunnilingus Techniques, Positions & Tips That Actually Make Her Come

Great pussy eating comes down to four things: the clit, consistency, enthusiasm and listening. Start slow and wide, work your way in to her clit, find one stroke that makes her breathe differently, and then keep doing exactly that until she comes.

That's the whole secret. Most people go down like they're cramming for a test: too fast, too hard, straight for the clit, changing everything every ten seconds. This guide fixes that, step by step, from the first kiss on her thigh to the moment she pushes your head away because she can't take any more.

This is for anyone with a vulva and anyone going down on one. I'll say "she" and "her" because that's how most people search, but every stroke, position and tip works for any body with a clit and any partner of any gender.

The seven rules, if you only read one thing:

• Tease first. Thighs, lips, breath. The clit comes last.
• Start soft and wet. A relaxed, flat tongue beats a hard, pointed one.
• Find one stroke, then repeat it. Rhythm wins. Variety is for the warm-up.
• Never change what's working. When she's close, don't speed up, don't switch, don't stop.
• Use your hands. Spread her lips, hold her hips, slide a finger inside.
• Read her body and ask. Hips, breath and thighs tell you more than guessing.
• Enjoy it, out loud. Enthusiasm is half the pleasure for her.

What’s in this guide

• What is cunnilingus?
• Why going down matters: the orgasm gap
• Know the anatomy: a map of the vulva
• Before you start: consent, hygiene and setup
• The session plan: how to eat pussy, stage by stage
• Tongue and lip techniques
• Using your hands too
• Reading her signals
• The best positions for eating pussy
• How long should you go down on her?
• What if she doesn't come?
• Adding toys to oral sex
• Mistakes to avoid and myths to drop
• Giver comfort: jaw, tongue and breathing
• Safer oral sex
• For the receiver: getting the oral you want
• The best toys to pair with oral sex
• Cunnilingus FAQ
• The bottom line: go slow, stay steady, keep listening

What is cunnilingus?

Cunnilingus is oral sex on a vulva: using your lips, tongue and mouth to lick, kiss and suck the clit, the labia and the vaginal opening. Eating pussy, eating her out, going down on her and giving her head all mean the same thing. Cunnilingus is just the formal word, from Latin roots that mean, roughly, "vulva" and "to lick".

It can be foreplay, the main event or the encore after sex. For plenty of people it's the most reliable way to come with a partner, because a mouth can give the clit exactly the soft, wet, steady touch it likes, for as long as it needs.

Why going down matters: the orgasm gap

Many people with a clit need clitoral stimulation to come, and penetration alone often doesn't give them enough of it. That's a big part of the orgasm gap, and the numbers are blunt. In a US national study of 52,588 adults, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior in 2017, 95% of heterosexual men said they usually or always orgasm when sexually intimate, compared with 65% of heterosexual women. Lesbian women came in at 86%.

The same study found that women who orgasmed more often were more likely to receive more oral sex, and that women were more likely to orgasm when their last encounter included deep kissing, manual genital stimulation and/or oral sex in addition to vaginal intercourse.

Translation: oral sex is one of the best tools you have for closing that gap. It puts your full attention on the part of her body that does most of the work, at the pace she needs.

Know the anatomy: a map of the vulva

You can't eat what you can't find. Spend thirty seconds looking before you lick (she'll like being looked at, too). Here's what you're seeing, from top to bottom.

• The mons: the soft, padded mound at the top, often with hair. Great for kissing, and the perfect spot for a wand later.
• The outer lips (labia majora): the fuller, outer folds. Sensitive to kisses and licks, and the best place to start.
• The inner lips (labia minora): the thinner, inner folds. Small or long, tucked in or hanging out, matched or not: all normal, all lickable. They love being sucked gently into your mouth.
• The clitoral hood: the fold of skin where the inner lips meet at the top. It covers the clit, and on many people it's where you'll do most of your work.
• The clitoral glans: the visible tip of the clit, under or peeking out from the hood. It's the star of the show, and the easiest thing to overdo.
• The urethral opening: the tiny opening below the clit, where pee comes out. Nothing to do here; just lick past it.
• The vaginal opening: below that. The entrance is the sensitive part; deeper inside, a tongue can't do much.
• The perineum: the skin between the vaginal opening and the anus. Many people love firm pressure here.

The clit is much bigger than it looks

The glans is only the tip. Under the hood, the clit continues as a short shaft, then splits into two legs that run down along either side of the vulva, under the lips. Next to them sit two bulbs of erectile tissue that hug the vaginal opening. All of it swells when she's turned on.

That's why licking her lips and kissing around the clit feels so good: you're stimulating the clit indirectly before you ever touch the tip. And that tip is dense with nerves. A 2023 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine estimated that about 10,281 myelinated nerve fibers supply the clitoris. That's an estimate from a small sample, and it counted only myelinated fibers, so the real total is likely higher. That's a lot of wiring in a very small space, which is exactly why gentle wins.

Where her sweet spot is

When people ask how to hit a woman's sweet spot, they usually mean one of two places. The first is the clit: for most people, the glans and the hood around it, often a little to one side. The second is the G-spot area, a slightly spongy area a couple of inches inside the vagina, on its front wall, the side toward her belly button. Your tongue can't reach it. Your fingers can, and a tongue on the clit plus a curled finger inside is one of the best combinations you can learn.

Golden rule 1: the clit is often too sensitive for direct contact at first. Earn it. Start around it, and work your way onto it as she gets more turned on.

Before you start: consent, hygiene and setup

Ask, and mean it

Ask with heat: "I want to taste you. Can I?" Then listen for an enthusiastic yes. A shrug, a "sure, if you want" or a nervous laugh means slow down and talk.

Ask what she likes, too, ideally outside the bedroom: soft or firm, fingers or no fingers, on the clit or around it. If she doesn't know yet, you'll find out together. The fastest shortcut is to watch her touch herself; our mutual masturbation guide shows you how.

Agree on a stop signal, since her mouth may be busy moaning: two taps on your head or shoulder means stop, no questions asked. Honor it instantly.

Hygiene for both of you

• Her: a normal shower that day is plenty. No scented washes or sprays needed; warm water on the vulva does the job.
• You: brush your teeth well ahead of time and skip flossing right before, so your gums aren't freshly irritated.
• Nails: short, smooth and filed, especially if fingers are going inside.
• Lips: use lip balm earlier in the day, so your lips are soft, not slick and waxy.
• Beard: stubble is sandpaper on her thighs. Shave close the same day, or keep it grown out and conditioned soft.
• Hair: her pubic hair is her business. If one ends up in your mouth, pick it out and carry on, no commentary.

Set up for comfort

You might be down there a while, so build a nest. Slide a firm pillow under her hips to tilt her pussy up toward you. Put a towel down. Keep water, a water-based lube like Jo H2O and any toys within reach. A cramped neck ends more sessions than anything else.

The session plan: how to eat pussy, stage by stage

This is the heart of the guide. Eating pussy isn't a random menu of tricks. It's an arc: warm her up, build slowly, find her stroke, lock it in, and land softly. Here's what to do in each stage, and when to move on.

Stage 1: Warm-up and tease

1. Start with the rest of her. Kiss her mouth, neck, nipples and stomach. Take your time getting down there. Anticipation is half of arousal.
2. Worship her thighs. Kiss and lick slowly up one inner thigh, then the other. Let your breath warm her skin. Get close, then move away again.
3. Try it through her underwear. Mouth her over the fabric. It's a deliciously frustrating tease, and her hips will tell you when it should come off.
4. Kiss the outer lips. Soft, closed-mouth kisses all over the outer lips and the mons, like you're kissing her mouth. No tongue yet.

Move on when her breathing deepens, her hips lift toward your mouth, or she pulls her underwear off herself.

Stage 2: Build

1. Get your tongue wet and soft. A relaxed, flat, wet tongue is your main tool. Wetness is everything.
2. Do long, slow licks. Start at the vaginal opening and drag your flat tongue up through her inner lips, stopping just short of the clit. Repeat, slowly.
3. Explore the lips. Suck each inner lip gently into your mouth. Trace the line between the inner and outer lips with your tongue tip.
4. Graze the hood. Let some licks carry on over the clitoral hood, flat and soft, then back off. Over the hood, not on the bare glans.

Move on when she's wet and swollen and pushing up into the strokes that reach the top.

Stage 3: Focus

1. Settle on the clit. Center your mouth over the hood and clit, tongue broad and soft.
2. Audition strokes. Try one stroke (slow up-and-down licks, gentle circles or side-to-side) and give it a fair trial, a good long stretch, not three licks.
3. Watch her reaction. A louder breath, a hip push, a hand on your head: that's the one. Flinching or pulling away means too direct or too hard; go softer or move to the side of the clit.
4. Pick a rhythm and keep it. Steady and repetitive, like a metronome. Most people climb on consistency, not surprises.

Move on when you've found the stroke that clearly works. Now your only job is not to ruin it.

Stage 4: The peak

1. Don't change anything. Same stroke, same speed, same pressure, same spot.
2. Only change on request. If she says "harder", "faster" or "right there", do exactly that and nothing else.
3. Add a finger if she wants it. Slide one or two fingers inside and press gently up on the front wall, but keep your mouth exactly as it was.
4. Keep going through the orgasm. Her thighs may clamp around your head. Keep the same stroke until she pulls away, pushes your head off or tells you to stop. Stopping at the first moan cuts an orgasm short.

Golden rule 2: when she's close, the right move is almost always to keep doing exactly what you're doing. Not faster. Not harder. The same.

Want to edge her? Once you know her stroke, bring her right to the brink, back off to slow licks on her lips, then build again. Some people find two or three rounds make the final orgasm feel bigger. Ask first; some people find it delicious, others maddening.

Stage 5: After

1. Slow right down. After orgasm, the clit is usually too sensitive for direct touch. Move your mouth off it.
2. Stay close. Rest your cheek on her thigh, kiss her lips softly. Don't just pop up and wipe your face.
3. Ask if she wants more. Some people can come again, often from soft licks to the side of the clit or through the hood. Others are done. Both are great.
4. Look after each other. Water, a towel, a cuddle. Tell her how good she tasted. It matters more than you'd think.

Tongue and lip techniques

Think of these as your stroke library. Use a few in the warm-up and build, then find the one or two she loves and stick to them.

Stroke	How	When	Intensity
Flat tongue lick	Broad, relaxed tongue, slow strokes from opening to hood	Warm-up and build	Low to medium
Tip flick	Pointed tip flicking up and down over the hood or clit	Focus, once she's very turned on	Medium to high
Circles	Tongue tip circling the clit, both directions	Build and focus	Medium
Side-to-side	Tongue sweeping left and right over the hood	Focus	Medium to high
Suck and hum	Lips sealed around the clit, gentle suction, a low hum	Focus and peak	High
The alphabet	Tracing letters with your tongue	Warm-up only, if at all	Varies (that's the problem)
Lips-only press	Soft lips pressing and kissing around the clit, no tongue	Tease and after	Low
Lap and pause	A few slow licks, a pause, then licks again	Tease and edging	Low to medium
Figure eight	Tracing an 8 over the hood and between the lips	Build	Medium
Hood pull-back	Fingers lift the hood so your tongue meets the glans	Focus, only if she likes direct contact	High

Flat tongue lick

Relax your tongue completely so it's wide and soft. Press it flat against her and drag it slowly upward, from the opening to the hood, like you're catching a drip on a melting ice cream. About one lick every second or two, light to medium pressure.

You'll come back to this stroke all night: for the warm-up, the build and the gentle minutes after she comes. Slip your tongue just inside the opening between licks, too. It won't go deep, but the entrance is sensitive and the tease is delicious.

Tip flick

Point your tongue and flick it up and down, quick and light, against the hood or over the clit. A small, fast flutter, not big strokes. Save it for when she's swollen and close; too early, it's a jab. If your tongue tires fast, a toy can take the shift: the Vedo Liki has a fluttering silicone tongue made for topical clit play.

Circles

Trace slow circles around the clit with the tip or the softer front of your tongue. Go around, not over, at first, then tighten the circles. Try clockwise, then counterclockwise: many people strongly prefer one direction, and her hips will tell you which.

Side-to-side

Sweep your tongue left and right over the hood like a windshield wiper, soft and steady. Many people find this more intense than up-and-down, so start gentle. Too much? Move the sweep a little higher on the hood.

The suck and hum

Seal your lips softly around the clit and hood and suck gently, like sipping through a straw, not like a vacuum. Release, repeat, in a slow rhythm. While you're sealed, flick or circle with your tongue inside the seal: that's the answer to how to suck a clit.

Now hum. A low hum with your lips sealed sends a buzz through the whole area, and it makes you sound enthusiastic. If she adores suction, a toy can cover your breaks: the Lily Lover pairs a suction cup with a vibrating silicone tongue inside it.

The alphabet (and why a steady rhythm usually beats it)

The old trick is to "write" the alphabet on her with your tongue. As a warm-up game for finding which motions she reacts to, fine. As a routine, it's a mess: every letter changes the direction, speed and spot, which is exactly what stops most people from building. Explore with it, then commit to the stroke she liked.

Lips-only press

No tongue at all. Use soft, slightly parted lips to kiss, press and nuzzle around the clit and along the inner lips, like slow, deep kisses. Perfect for the first minute of oral, the first minute after she comes, and whenever your tongue needs a rest.

Lap and pause

Give her a few slow, flat licks, then stop. Hold your mouth there, breathe warm against her skin, wait. Then lick again. The pause makes her chase the next stroke, and you'll feel her hips push up looking for it. Great for teasing and edging. Never at the peak.

Figure eight

Trace a lazy figure eight: one loop around the clit and hood, the other down between the inner lips. It mixes direct and indirect contact, which is ideal during the build when she wants more but isn't ready for full focus on the clit.

The hood pull-back

Some people love direct contact on the bare glans once they're very turned on. With two fingers on the mons, gently pull the skin up toward her belly button so the hood slides back. Now a soft, flat, very wet tongue goes a long way. Ask first and go gentle: for some people bare-glans contact is too much at any point. If she flinches, let the hood go.

Using your hands too

Your mouth does the main work. Your hands make it better.

• Spread her lips gently. A thumb and finger on the outer lips opens her up and makes the clit easier to find, especially from behind.
• Fingers inside, come-hither. Once she's wet, slide one finger in, palm up. Curl it toward her belly button, pressing the front wall a couple of inches in, with a small, steady motion that matches your tongue. Add a second finger if she wants more fullness.
• A thumb on the perineum. Gentle, firm, steady pressure on the skin below the opening.
• Hold her hips. Pull her into your mouth, hold her steady and feel every movement.
• Reach up. A hand on her nipple while you lick connects the whole body. Our nipple play collection takes that further.

Golden rule 3: keep your mouth on her clit while your fingers go inside. Two steady rhythms together beat either one alone.

Reading her signals

Her body gives you directions the whole time. Learn to read them and you'll barely need to ask.

What you notice	What it usually means	What to do
Breathing speeds up or gets louder	It's working	Keep exactly that stroke
She goes quiet and still, holding her breath	Often building toward orgasm	Don't change a thing
Hips push into your face	She wants more pressure or contact	Press a little flatter and firmer, same rhythm
Hips pull back or she flinches	Too direct, too hard or too fast	Go softer, slower, or move to the side of the clit
Thighs squeeze your head	Often close	Keep going
Hand pulls your head in	More, right there	Stay put, keep the rhythm
Hand pushes your head away	Too much, or she's done	Ease off and check in
Legs shake, toes curl, back arches	Close or coming	Same stroke, all the way through
"Don't stop" or "right there"	Exactly what it says	Change nothing at all
She seems distracted or gets drier	Losing the thread	Slow down, go back to teasing, or ask

Asking without breaking the mood

Every body is different, so signals are a guide, not gospel. Ask anyway, in a way that keeps the heat up.

• Give her options: "Like this... or like this?" She only has to moan at one.
• Ask one-word questions: "Softer?" "Faster?" "Inside?" She can answer with a nod.
• Let her steer: "Put your hand on my head and show me."
• Use her own hand: "Show me where." Then put your tongue exactly where her finger was.
• Agree on code words early: "more" and "less" are all most people need.

The best positions for eating pussy

The right position gives your tongue better access, supports her legs and saves your neck. Here are ten.

Position	Comfort for giver	Access	Best for
Classic lying back	Medium (neck strain over time)	Good	First times
Pillow under her hips	High	Very good	Better angle, less neck strain
Edge of the bed	High	Excellent	Long sessions, adding fingers
Facesitting	Medium (she controls pressure)	Excellent	Her setting the pace
From behind	Medium	Good for the opening, harder for the clit	Variety, the view, adding a toy
69	Low to medium	Fair	Mutual pleasure
Standing, you kneeling	Medium	Good	Quickies, urgency
Side-lying	High	Good	Lazy mornings, sore necks
Legs over shoulders	Medium	Very good	Close access, a tight hold
Sitting in a chair	High	Very good	Showing off, a change of scene

1. Classic lying back

She lies on her back, knees bent and legs open. You lie on your stomach between her legs. Relaxing for her and easy to start, but your neck has to tilt up the whole time. Prop yourself on your elbows, and switch the moment your neck complains.

2. Pillow under her hips

The same, with a firm pillow or two under her butt. It tilts her pussy up toward your mouth so you can lie flatter and keep your neck neutral. The easiest upgrade in this guide.

3. Edge of the bed

She lies back with her butt at the edge of the bed, feet on the floor or on your shoulders. You kneel on a pillow on the floor. Your head is level, your hands are free, and you can stay down there forever. The best position for long sessions and for adding fingers.

4. Facesitting (her on top)

You lie on your back; she kneels over your face facing the headboard and lowers herself onto your mouth. She controls pressure, angle and rhythm with her hips, which makes it perfect for anyone who likes to grind. She can hold the headboard and lift up any time.

Put a pillow under your head, keep your tongue flat and still, and hold her hips to guide her. Agree on a hand tap-out signal, since your mouth is busy. Then let her ride.

5. From behind (kneeling doggy and lying flat)

Eating pussy from behind is hot, a little filthy and worth learning. It's also different from every other position: from back there your tongue lands on her opening and inner lips first, and the clit is the hardest thing to reach. Here's how to make it work.

Kneeling doggy:

1. She kneels with her chest down on the bed and her ass up, knees spread wide. The wider her knees, the better your access.
2. You kneel or lie behind her and use your hands to spread her cheeks and her outer lips gently.
3. Lick with a flat tongue from the clit end back toward the opening, pulling each stroke toward you. Push in close and tilt your head: her inner lips and opening get all the attention, and that's a gift in itself.
4. For the clit, reach under her and rub it with your fingers while you lick, or let her rub it herself. A small vibrator held on her clit is even easier.

Lying flat (face down):

1. She lies on her stomach with a firm pillow under her hips, so her ass lifts and her pussy tilts back toward you, legs a little apart.
2. You lie on your stomach between her legs and come in from below.
3. It's relaxing for her, and she can grind into the pillow for clit pressure. Slide a small vibrator between her and the pillow and her clit is covered.

From behind, your mouth is close to her ass, and some couples love that. Fingers that go there get washed, and a tongue gets a good rinse (or a fresh dam), before either goes back to her pussy.

6. 69

You lie head to toe, on top of each other or side by side, and go down at the same time. Fun and mutual, but it's hard to give great oral while you're receiving it. Side by side, each resting your head on the other's thigh, is easiest on the neck. Treat 69 as a warm-up, then take turns to finish.

7. Standing (she stands, you kneel)

She stands with her back against a wall and one foot up on the bed, a chair or your shoulder. You kneel in front of her. It feels urgent and a little dominant, which is half the point. Kneel on a pillow, and give her something sturdy to hold: legs get shaky when she's close.

8. Side-lying

She lies on her side with her top leg bent up or resting on your shoulder. You lie on your side facing her pussy, head on her lower thigh like a pillow. Of every position here, it's the most relaxed for you both, and the one to switch to when your neck is done.

9. Legs over shoulders

She lies back and drapes her legs over your shoulders while you lie or kneel between them. Wrap your arms around her thighs and hold her hips. You get close access, and she feels gloriously held. Combine it with the edge of the bed for the best of both.

10. Sitting in a chair

She sits on the edge of a sturdy chair or couch with her legs spread, maybe one over each arm. You kneel in front of her. She watches everything, you get great access, and it feels like a show. A pillow under your knees is mandatory.

Golden rule 4: if your neck hurts, she can tell. Change positions before you're in pain, not after.

How long should you go down on her?

As long as it takes. There's no correct time, and watching the clock is the fastest way to make her feel rushed. Many people need a long stretch of steady stimulation to come, and a good warm-up takes a while on its own. If she senses you're impatient, her body tenses; if she senses you're happy to stay all night, she relaxes, and relaxed bodies come more easily.

What if she doesn't come?

First: it's not a failure. Lots of people don't come every time, from oral or from anything else. Stress, tiredness, alcohol, medication, a busy brain or just a different night can all get in the way. If she enjoyed it, it was good sex.

If she wants to come and it isn't happening, change one thing at a time:

1. Slow down. Too fast and too hard is the most common problem.
2. Go softer and wetter. Broaden your tongue and use more saliva. Save lube for your fingers and toys.
3. Move off the center. Try the side of the clit, or work through the hood.
4. Hold one stroke longer. You might be switching before it has a chance to build.
5. Add fingers. A come-hither finger inside, or a thumb on the perineum.
6. Add a toy. A wand on her mound or a clit sucker on her clit while you kiss her thighs.
7. Ask. "What would make this even better?" Then do it.

Then let go of the scoreboard. Make pleasure the goal, not orgasm, and orgasms tend to show up more often. If she wants to finish herself with her hand or a toy while you kiss her, that's not a defeat. That's teamwork.

Adding toys to oral sex

Toys don't replace your mouth. They give it backup.

• Suction and rose toys while you tease. Put a clit sucker on her clit while you kiss her thighs, lick her lips or slide your fingers inside. Start with our clit suckers or rose toys, and see how to use a rose toy for technique.
• A bullet or wand on her clit while you lick lower. Hold a small bullet vibrator or a wand on her clit or mound while your tongue works her lips and opening. It's the easiest fix for eating her from behind.
• A tongue vibrator for when your jaw needs a break. Hold it on her clit while you kiss her stomach and rest your mouth, then take over again. Browse our tongue vibrators, or see the Blush Aria Flutter Tongue in the picks below.
• Fingers or a G-spot toy inside. While your mouth stays on her clit, a curved toy can press the front wall for you. See our G-spot vibrators and the best G-spot vibrators guide.
• A remote for the tease. The Butterfly Tease combines clit suction with a bendy 3.6-inch shaft, and its remote reaches as far as 26 feet, letting you drive it while your mouth is busy elsewhere.
• Into sex. When oral turns into penetration, don't abandon her clit. The Zero Tolerance Mr. Flicker builds a flicking tongue into a vibrating cock ring, so she still gets licked.

With toys, a water-based lube is the safe pick, since it works with any toy material. Silicone lube can break down silicone toys, so test it on a hidden spot first or leave it out.

Mistakes to avoid and myths to drop

• Too hard, too fast, too soon. The most common mistake. Start slower and softer than you think, and let her ask for more.
• Going straight for the clit. Without a warm-up, direct contact can feel ticklish, sharp or numb.
• Stopping when she's close. Lifting your head to ask "is this good?" right at the edge can reset everything. If she's moaning, it's good.
• Teeth. Keep them behind your lips. Light nibbling on thighs or outer lips is for people who ask for it, never on the clit.
• The porn head-shake. Whipping your whole head side to side looks dramatic and feels like nothing. Small, controlled tongue movements win.
• Treating the clit like a button. It's not a doorbell. It likes buildup, context and patience.
• Blowing air into her vagina: never. Warm breath on her skin is fine. The International Society for Sexual Medicine warns that blowing air into the vagina can cause an air embolism, an air bubble that can block a vein or artery, and that during pregnancy air bubbles can also form in the placenta, which is dangerous for the fetus.

Golden rule 5: enthusiasm is part of the technique. Moan, grip her hips, tell her how good she tastes. Nobody comes while worrying that you're bored.

Giver comfort: jaw, tongue and breathing

Great oral is an endurance event, so set yourself up to last.

• Jaw: keep it loose. The work comes from your tongue and lips, not from holding your mouth wide open. When it aches, switch to lips-only kisses or fingers for a minute.
• Tongue: a relaxed, flat tongue tires far less than a tense, pointed one. Alternate flat licks and flicks to share the load. Short tongue? Lean on your lips and suction, tilt her hips up with a pillow, and lift the hood with your fingers so the clit comes to you.
• Breathing: see the FAQ below, or simply: nose, not mouth.

Safer oral sex

Oral sex can't get anyone pregnant, but it can pass on infections.

• What can pass through oral sex: the CDC says many STIs and other infections are spread through oral sex, and lists chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, HPV and HIV.
• Dental dams reduce the risk. For oral sex on the vagina or anus, the CDC's advice is to use a dental dam. A dam is a thin sheet you lay over her vulva and lick through; a Planned Parenthood of the Pacific Southwest blog explains that dams protect by preventing skin-to-skin contact and decreasing the transmission of bodily fluids. Keep the same side facing her, and use a fresh one every time.
• Skip it with sores. If either of you has a cold sore, a mouth ulcer, bleeding gums or any sore on the mouth or genitals, wait until it's healed.
• Get tested together. With a new partner, getting tested together is a simple, smart first step.
• Ass to pussy needs washing. Wash fingers and toys, and rinse your mouth or switch to a fresh dam, before going from her ass back to her pussy.
• Periods: oral during a period is up to you both. Put a dark towel down, and use a dam if either of you hasn't been tested.
• Pregnancy: beyond never blowing air into the vagina, she should take any questions about sex during pregnancy to her doctor.

Is it healthy to lick your partner? Oral sex isn't a health practice either way; it's sex, and for most people it's safe with the steps above. If anything hurts, bleeds or seems unusual afterward, talk to your doctor.

For the receiver: getting the oral you want

If you're the one getting eaten out, this part's for you.

How to ask and guide

You're allowed to want specific things. "Softer", "a little higher" and "keep doing that" aren't criticism. They're directions, and most givers are desperate for them. Shy? Try a compliment sandwich: "I love when you do that. A little slower. Yes, exactly that."

• Use your hands. Guide their head where you want it. Pull them closer for more, ease them back for less.
• Use your hips. Tilt up into the strokes you like; pull back from the ones you don't.
• Use your fingers. Spread your lips or lift your hood so they can see exactly where to aim.
• Use a toy. Hold your favorite vibrator on your clit while they lick lower. Bringing backup is smart, not a failure.

Take your time, and get out of your head

You are not taking too long. A partner who loves going down wants you to relax, not race to finish. The person between your legs chose to be there. Let them enjoy it.

The best toys to pair with oral sex

Your mouth is the main event. These are the supporting cast: toys that keep her clit busy while your jaw rests, add suction or vibration you can't make yourself, or work inside while you work outside. Everything here comes from our tongue vibrators, clit suckers and wand vibrators.

Pick	Best for	Price
Lily Lover	Suction plus a vibrating tongue while you rest	$70.95
Rose Kisser	Slow licking circles	$53.95
Womanizer Premium 2	Air-pulse suction for long sessions	$188.95
Lickgasm Mini	Suction, licking and vibration, clit or nipples	$111.95
LELO Ora 3	Steady circles while you rest	$151.95
Vedo Liki	Fast flicking on the clit	$51.95
Blush Aria Flutter Tongue	Fluttering tips on her clit or nipples	$48.95
Le Wand Lick	A licking tongue plus a G-spot end	$94.95
Magic Wand Mini	Broad vibration on her mound	$96.95
Jo H2O Personal Lube	Glide for fingers and toys	from $12.95

1. Lily Lover: suction and a tongue while you rest your jaw

When your jaw needs a minute, this picks up exactly where your mouth left off. A removable cup settles over her clit and pulls in 6 suction modes, and inside it a 1-inch silicone tongue vibrates through 3 speeds and 7 patterns. Use it while you kiss her thighs or slide two fingers inside.

Lift the cup off and the tongue buzzes solo for gentler play. It's 4.4 inches overall and petite enough to tuck between you mid-sex. IPX6 (shower yes, bath no), USB rechargeable, water-based lube only. $70.95.

Get the Lily Lover here.

2. Rose Kisser: slow licking circles

If she loves your circles, this rose does them too: a soft 1-inch silicone tongue that swirls slow circles over the clit. Licking has 3 speeds and 6 patterns, vibration has its own 3 speeds and 6 patterns, and a light-up display tells you the current setting, so when one undoes her, you can find it again easily.

It's IPX7, submersible for up to 30 minutes, 3.2 by 2.3 inches and USB rechargeable. Water-based lube only. $53.95. More like it in the rose toy collection.

Get the Rose Kisser here.

3. Womanizer Premium 2: air pulse for long nights

Womanizer's Pleasure Air is touchless suction and massage, with pulses of air working her clit, so the Premium 2 makes a great relief pitcher while you move down to her opening or up to her nipples. Fourteen intensity levels, plus Autopilot, which varies them on its own so she can't brace for what's next.

It switches on only when it touches skin and includes two head sizes. A 120-minute USB charge gives up to 240 minutes of play. It's IPX7 and about 6.1 inches long. $188.95. Want smaller? The Womanizer Starlet 3 ($82.95) runs the same Pleasure Air with 6 intensity levels in a body about 4.6 inches long.

Get the Womanizer Premium 2 here.

4. Lickgasm Mini: suction, licking and vibration in one

Three sensations in one compact toy: gentle pumping suction, a 1.4-inch licking tongue and vibration, all working together. Two cups (a smaller and a larger one) let you fit it to her clit or a nipple, a silicone ring holds the seal while it suctions automatically, and you get 10 licking and vibration modes.

Coat the tongue and the cup's rim with a little water-based lube, press it on until it seals, then go back to kissing her. 5.7 inches overall, USB rechargeable. $111.95.

Get the Lickgasm Mini here.

5. LELO Ora 3: a rotating, vibrating nub

The Ora 3 works through motion: its pleasure nub rotates while it vibrates, swirling against the clit. Thanks to PreMotion Technology, the rotation is firmer and more precise, and a range of vibration patterns layers on top.

Twelve pleasure settings, an ergonomically shaped nub, and a body of silicone, polycarbonate and ABS. Grab it when she loves your circles and wants them to keep going, steady, while you rest. $151.95.

Get the LELO Ora 3 here.

6. Vedo Liki: fast flicks on the clit

Tip flicks tire a tongue fastest, so hand them to the Liki. Its silicone tongue flutters, flicking and tickling her clit, and it offers 10 vibration modes and 6 intensity levels. Hold it on her clit while you lick her lips and opening.

At 3.5 inches long by 1.25 inches wide, it's waterproof, submersible and fitted with a travel lock. A 90-minute USB charge gives you about 90 minutes of play. $51.95.

Get the Vedo Liki here.

7. Blush Aria Flutter Tongue: a tiny tongue vibe for clit or nipples

Its soft silicone tips flicker and flutter when you hold them against her clit or nipples, with 7 vibration modes, so her clit stays busy while you kiss her stomach, or a nipple gets the flutter while you stay down below.

It's tiny by design: 2.5 inches tall and 1.5 inches wide, with a storage cap over the stimulator between uses and a magnetic USB charger. Rinse it clean, don't soak it. $48.95.

Get the Aria Flutter Tongue here.

8. Le Wand Lick: a licking tongue and a G-spot end

This one covers golden rule 3 by itself. It's double-ended: the clit end is a silicone tongue that flicks, with a suction cup you can take off, and the other end is a curved, textured handle that vibrates as a G-spot massager. Let the tongue handle her clit while your fingers go inside, or ease the G-spot end in and give your mouth the clit.

Four buttons control everything, and the tongue end rolls, flicks and pulses. It's about 10 inches long, and a charge of about 2 hours gives you 80 to 180 minutes of play. Keep it out of the bath, and use water-based lube. $94.95.

Get the Le Wand Lick here.

9. Magic Wand Mini: broad vibration on her mound

A wand is the perfect oral partner because it's broad: rest it on her mound, above the clit, and the vibration spreads through the whole area while your tongue works lower.

Inside its compact, cordless body sits a 6,000 RPM brushless motor that delivers a deep, rumbly buzz. The silicone head is soft, the neck flexes, and three intensity levels sit right under your thumb. $96.95.

Get the Magic Wand Mini here.

10. Jo H2O Personal Lube: for fingers and toys

Saliva is perfect for your tongue but dries fast on fingers and toys. This water-based lube keeps everything slick. It works with all toy materials, silicone too, and with latex condoms. It's odor-free and non-staining, and its silky, long-lasting glide washes off easily without ever turning sticky.

Bottles come in 2, 4, 8 and 16 oz, from $12.95. More options in our lube collection.

Get the Jo H2O here.

Cunnilingus FAQ

What is cunnilingus?

Cunnilingus is oral sex on a vulva: using your lips, tongue and mouth to stimulate the clit, the labia and the vaginal opening. It's the formal word for eating pussy, going down on someone or eating her out, and for many people it's one of the most reliable ways to come with a partner.

How do you eat pussy for the first time?

Start slow and ask what she likes. Kiss her body and inner thighs first, then use a soft, flat, wet tongue on her outer and inner lips before you reach the clit. Work up to gentle licks over the clitoral hood, watch her reactions and pick the stroke that makes her breathe harder. Then keep it steady, and check in with simple questions like "softer or firmer?"

How do you eat pussy from behind?

Have her kneel with her chest down and knees spread wide, or lie face down with a pillow under her hips. Spread her lips gently and lick from the clit end back toward the opening. From behind, the clit is hard to reach with your tongue, so rub it with your fingers or hold a small vibrator on it while you lick.

How long should you eat her out?

As long as she's enjoying it; there's no set time. Get comfortable first: a pillow under her hips or the edge of the bed keeps your neck from deciding when you stop. Let her signals, not the clock, set the pace.

What if she doesn't orgasm from oral?

It's common, and it's not a failure. If she wants to come, slow down, go softer, try the side of her clit, hold one stroke longer, or add a finger or a toy, and ask what would help. Make pleasure the goal rather than the orgasm, and the pressure drops for both of you.

Do women actually like being eaten out?

Many do, and for plenty of people it's their favorite way to come. But not everyone does, and some feel self-conscious receiving it at first. The only way to know about your partner is to ask, and to take any answer gracefully. A relaxed, enthusiastic giver who takes their time makes it much easier to enjoy.

Can you make her squirt with oral?

Some people squirt during oral, especially when it's combined with fingers pressing the front wall of the vagina. Others never squirt, and that's completely normal. If she wants to try, pair your tongue on her clit with a come-hither finger inside, put a towel down and let her relax into any urge to pee. Don't make it a goal she has to hit.

How do I breathe while eating pussy?

Breathe through your nose. Keep your mouth relaxed and seal your lips completely only during suction. If her thighs squeeze around your head, tilt your head slightly to open an airway. If your nose is blocked, take short breaks by keeping her clit busy with your fingers or a toy while you catch your breath.

What does pussy taste and smell like?

Like a healthy body: usually a little musky, salty or tangy, sometimes slightly sweet. It changes over her cycle and after exercise, and that's all normal. A strong fishy smell, unusual discharge, itching or burning are different: skip oral and have her talk to her doctor. Otherwise, the less you both worry about it, the better it goes.

Is it safe to eat pussy?

For most people, yes, with safer-sex steps. Oral sex can't cause pregnancy, but the CDC lists chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, HPV and HIV among the infections spread through oral sex, and recommends a dental dam for oral sex on the vagina. Skip oral with cold sores or mouth cuts, get tested together and never blow air into the vagina.

How do you hit a woman's sweet spot?

Most often, her sweet spot is the clit: the glans and the hood around it, frequently a little to one side. Use a soft, wet, flat tongue over the hood and keep a steady rhythm. For a second sweet spot, slide a finger inside, palm up, and curl it toward her belly button against the front wall while your mouth stays on her clit.

How do you know he enjoys eating you out?

Look at how he does it. Givers who love it take their time, make noise, don't rush on to sex, keep going without being asked and come back to it another day. Many people love giving oral for its own sake. If you're unsure, ask him what he likes about it; most people are happy to tell you.

What's the best position to eat pussy?

The edge of the bed is the easiest for most couples: she lies back with her butt at the edge and you kneel on a pillow on the floor, so your neck stays level and your hands are free. A pillow under her hips in the classic position is a close second. If she likes to control the pace, try facesitting.

The bottom line: go slow, stay steady, keep listening

Eating pussy well isn't about a magic trick. It's patience at the start, consistency in the middle and stubborn steadiness at the end, with your attention on her the whole way. Tease her until she's begging, find her stroke, and keep doing it. Use your hands, read her hips, ask with heat, and enjoy yourself out loud.

Ready for backup? Start simple with the best vibrators for beginners, read the best rose toys and clit suckers guide, or browse toys for women and couples toys to find your next favorite.

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Maya Sterling, AdultLuxe editorial. Read our editorial standards.