How to Use a Vibrator: Your First Time, Every Type, Solo, With a Partner & During Sex

To use a vibrator, start outside your body on the lowest setting, over your underwear or beside the spot you want rather than on it: on the hood of your clit, or on the shaft of a penis just below the head, working up to the frenulum (the little ridge under the head). Add water-based lube, move it slowly, and press in a little firmer or click up one setting only when your body asks for more, then stay on whatever is working until you come.

That's honestly most of it. The rest is detail, and detail is where the good orgasms live: your first time, every type, solo play, partners, sex and fixes.

You're in very good company. In a 2015 US national survey (PLOS ONE, 2017), 50.2% of women had ever used a vibrator or dildo. And this page is written for every body: clits and cocks, nipples and balls, the outside of the ass, and anywhere else you like to be buzzed.

What’s in this guide

• How to use a vibrator: the quick version
• Your first time, step by step
• Where to put a vibrator: a body map
• Settings and patterns, explained
• How to use each type of vibrator
• Ways to use a vibrator on yourself
• How to use a vibrator on a penis
• Using a vibrator with a partner
• How to use a vibrator during sex
• The best vibrators to learn on
• Lube: which one and how much
• When it isn't working: troubleshooting
• Numbness, sensitivity and safety
• Cleaning, charging and storage
• How to use a vibrator: FAQ
• The bottom line

How to use a vibrator: the quick version

Already turned on? Here's the whole method in seven steps.

1. Charge it and learn the buttons. Find on, off and up before you're naked, so you aren't squinting at it mid-moan.
2. Add lube. A dab of water-based lube on you and the toy. It works with every toy material.
3. Pick the lowest setting. Always. Climbing up beats backing down from a jolt.
4. Start outside. Over your underwear if you like, then on skin: the clit hood, the inner lips, or the shaft of a penis just below the head.
5. Move it, then press it. Slow circles or up-and-down strokes first. Add pressure before you add speed.
6. Stay on what works. When something feels good, keep doing exactly that. Same spot, same setting, and let it build.
7. Clean it. Lather it with a gentle soap and warm water, or spray on a toy cleaner, then let it dry fully.

No orgasm the first time is completely normal. Plenty of people need a few sessions to learn what their body wants from a vibrator. Think of the first one as a tour, not a test.

Your first time, step by step

The slow version, for a new toy or your first toy ever. Give yourself at least 20 minutes with nowhere else to be.

1. Charge it and learn the controls before you're turned on. Charge it fully, then learn how it switches on, changes speed and shuts off fast.
2. Set the scene. Lock the door, silence your phone, put a towel down, and keep the lube and a pillow within reach (one under your hips tilts everything up nicely).
3. Warm up with your hands first. Touch yourself, read something filthy. Arousal makes the clit, the vulva and a penis swell and get more sensitive, so the vibrator lands on a body that's ready.
4. Lube you and the toy. A pea-sized drop of water-based lube goes on the toy, and a little more on you; save some for when you move from fabric to skin. Glide feels better at every setting.
5. Lowest setting, over underwear first. Switch it on before it touches you, then rest it on your underwear over your clit (or over your boxers along your shaft). Fabric softens the buzz. When that feels good, move to bare skin.
6. Start beside the target, not on it. Buzzing the head of the clit directly can feel sharp at first, so begin on the hood, the sides of the clit or the inner lips. On a penis, begin on the shaft just below the head, not on the tip.
7. Move it slowly. Small circles, then slow strokes up and down the hood or the shaft, then a little tapping. Notice which one makes your hips start moving on their own.
8. Use pressure as a second dial. Before you click up a setting, try pressing in a bit firmer, or easing off until it's barely touching. Go lighter than you think: in a 2015 national sample of US women (Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 2018), most preferred light or medium pressure on the vulva, and only 10.7% preferred firm pressure.
9. When it builds, change nothing. The classic mistake is cranking it up or chasing a new spot as an orgasm gathers. Keep the same setting, spot and rhythm, breathe, and let it carry you over.
10. Edge or come, then clean it. Come, or back off right before you do and build again (that's edging, and many people say it makes the finish bigger). Then wash the toy and let it dry.

Too much, too fast? Slide the toy to your inner thigh, drop a setting, take three slow breaths, then come back to the side of your clit. Overwhelm means back off for a minute, not stop forever.

What does a vibrator actually feel like? On the lowest setting, a fast, fizzy tingle. Higher up, a deeper buzz that spreads through your whole crotch.

Some toys feel buzzy and right at the surface; others feel rumbly and deep. Close to orgasm, many people describe a tight, pulling build, and plenty find it takes them somewhere their hands don't.

Still choosing your first toy? Our guide to the best vibrators for beginners does the picking for you.

Where to put a vibrator: a body map

A vibrator works anywhere you have nerve endings. Here are the spots worth knowing; start each one on low.

Spot	How to start	Type that fits
Inner thighs and neck	Slow lines as a warm-up	Wand, any toy
Nipples	Circle around the nipple, over a shirt first	Bullet
Clit hood	Rest a bullet or wand flat, small circles; seal an air pulse toy over the head	Bullet, wand, air pulse
Sides of the clit	Press beside the head, one side, then the other	Bullet tip, finger vibe
Inner lips	Stroke up and down between them	Bullet, finger vibe
Vaginal entrance	Circle the opening with a bullet; let an insertable tip go just inside	Bullet, finger vibe, G-spot toy with an entrance motor
G-spot	Front wall, a couple of inches in, curve toward your belly	G-spot vibe, rabbit
Head and frenulum of a penis	Side of the toy just under the head	Bullet, penis vibe
Underside of the shaft	Slide from the base up to the frenulum	Wand, bullet
Balls	Cup them, toy against the sac, on low	Wand, bullet
Perineum	Press into the skin between the genitals and the ass	Bullet, wand
Outside of the anus	Circle the rim, hold it firmly, never push it in	Bullet, wand

Any body works. The clit and the penis grow from the same tissue before birth, and the clit hood and the frenulum are both good places to start with a slow, low buzz. Nipples, the perineum and the rim of the anus are worth trying on any body.

Fabric is your friend. Underwear, a sheet or a towel spreads the buzz and softens the edge.

Why direct can be too much. The head of the clit is small and packed with nerve endings, and most of the clit is actually inside the body, wrapping around the vaginal opening. A toy pressed straight on the head can feel ticklish, sharp or numbing before you're aroused. Beside it, on the hood or through fabric, you reach the same nerves with a softer edge.

Settings and patterns, explained

Most vibrators give you intensity (how strong), pattern (what rhythm) and sometimes extras like a second motor or an extra-power button.

Setting	What it does	When to use it
Low intensity	A soft, steady tingle	Warming up, direct contact, sensitive spots
Medium intensity	A fuller, deeper buzz	Once you're wet or hard and want more
High intensity	Strong, broad vibration	Through fabric, with a wand, or close to coming
Steady	One unchanging rhythm	As you get close: steady wins
Pulse	Bursts on and off	Teasing, edging, waking up a spot
Wave or ramp	Builds up, then eases down	Warm-ups and slow builds
Mixed or random	Changes without warning	Partner play and surprises, not the finish
Extra-power button	A burst above the regular settings	The last minute, when you want everything
Dual motors	Two motors that run together or separately	Inside and outside at once
App patterns	Custom or shared rhythms from a phone	Partner and long-distance play
Wind-down	One press drops it to the lowest level after you come	Coming down gently

Start low and climb one step at a time. Give each setting a full minute. Bodies adjust, and if you start at the top, there's nowhere left to go.

Steady beats random as you get close. Patterns are great for exploring, but an orgasm usually wants consistency. When you feel it gathering, switch to a steady setting and leave it alone.

Two-part toys take some learning. On the Flicking Silicone Rabbit, the shaft offers 3 speeds plus 9 patterns and the ears 3 speeds plus 8 patterns, while the We-Vibe Rave 2's two motors run together or separately. Where your toy lets you, keep the clit or entrance side lower than the inside.

Finish gently. On the Womanizer Classic 2, a quick tap on the power button after you come (its Afterglow feature) drops it to its lowest level, so you drift down instead of the toy cutting out.

How to use each type of vibrator

Same rules for every vibrator (lube, low, outside first), but each shape has its own tricks. Looking for a clitoral vibrator how-to? Bullets, wands and air pulse toys all work on the clit, so start with those three.

Type	Inside, outside or both	How to start	Pick to learn on
Bullet	Outside	Tip beside the clit or under the head of a penis	Zero Tolerance Full Metal Love
Wand	Outside only, never inside	Head resting on fabric over the clit or shaft	Femme Funn Ultra Wand Mini
Rabbit	Both	Shaft in first, then line the ears up with the clit	Flicking Silicone Rabbit
G-spot	Inside	Curve toward your belly, small twists and come-hither presses	We-Vibe Rave 2
Air pulse (clit sucker)	Outside	Seal it over the clit, lowest level	Womanizer Classic 2
Finger vibe	Outside, tip can go inside	Pad on the clit, then curl a finger	Finger-pulse
App-controlled bullet	Mostly outside (its listing gives 2.4 inches insertable)	Pair it first, then share control	Lovense Ambi
Wearable and egg	Panty vibes outside, eggs inside	In place before you get dressed	See below
Couples vibe	Worn inside during sex	Fit it first, then add a penis or toy	We-Vibe Sync 2
Penis vibe or vibrating ring	Outside, on the penis	Lowest setting, with lube	Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Essential
Vibrating or thrusting dildo	Inside	Lube, go slow	See below

How to use a bullet vibrator

A bullet is a small, often lipstick-sized vibrator: the easiest type to point exactly where you want, and the easiest to slip between two bodies.

1. Side for a broad buzz. Lay it flat along your clit hood, between your inner lips or under a shaft. More contact feels softer and wider.
2. Tip for pinpoint. Once you're warm, angle the tip into one side of the clit, or right under the head of a cock.
3. Pin it and rock. Hold it flat on the hood with two fingers and rock your hips into it.
4. Hide it in your fist. Hold it in a loose fist and press your knuckles onto your vulva, or wrap that fist around a shaft. Now your whole hand vibrates.
5. Put it between bodies. During sex, a bullet tucked between your pubic bones can stay on the clit without a hand on it, as long as you keep grinding.

Learn on a Zero Tolerance Full Metal Love (one button, 7 speeds, a tapered tip for aim), or browse our bullet vibrators and the best clit vibrators guide.

How to use a wand vibrator

A wand is a big, rounded head on a handle, built for broad, deep vibration. It never goes inside the body, vagina or ass.

1. Start through fabric. Rest the head on your underwear or a folded sheet, or on your boxers along a shaft.
2. Hold it still. Settle the head on the clit hood and let the vibration spread; move only when you want a new spot.
3. Use your hips. Grind into it, or lay it on a pillow and ride it (see solo play).
4. Try it on a penis. Rest the head under the shaft or against the balls while your hand strokes the top.

Learn on a Femme Funn Ultra Wand Mini, small enough to pack, with a head that bends. Compare twelve in our best wand vibrators guide, or read our Magic Wand Mini review.

How to use a rabbit vibrator

A rabbit has a shaft that goes inside and a smaller arm (the ears) that sits on your clit. The trick is getting both to land.

1. Warm up, then lube. Get turned on first, then lube the shaft and your entrance.
2. Shaft in first, motor low. Slide it in slowly, curve toward your belly, until the ears reach your clit.
3. Line up the ears. Adjust the depth and angle until the ears sit on or beside your clit. Lying back with a pillow under your hips helps.
4. Start the ears low. If your rabbit lets you set the ears apart from the shaft, start them lower; it's easy to go up.
5. Rock, don't thrust. Keep the shaft deep and rock it, so the ears stay put. In a nationally representative study of US women (PLOS ONE, 2021), about 76% use Rocking to make penetration more pleasurable: staying all the way inside so the base of a toy or penis rubs the clit, instead of thrusting in and out.

Learn on the Flicking Silicone Rabbit, which flicks inside and on the clit as well as vibrating, and compare more in our best rabbit vibrators guide.

How to use a G-spot vibrator

A G-spot vibrator curves at the tip to reach the front wall of the vagina, a couple of inches in, on the belly-button side. When you're aroused, the area often feels a little textured.

1. Get aroused first. The area swells as you get turned on; pressed cold, it can just feel like pressure.
2. Curve toward your belly. Lube the tip, lie back with your knees bent, and slide it in with the curve pointing up.
3. Press, don't poke. Make a slow come-hither motion, like a beckoning finger, instead of thrusting.
4. Twist a little. Small rolls of the wrist sweep the tip across the spot. The Rave 2's listing gives the same advice: small twists over big thrusts.
5. Set the angle first. If your toy bends or has a hinge, set it before it goes in.
6. Expect the need-to-pee feeling. The G-spot sits against the urethra, so pressure there can feel like you have to pee. Pee first, put a towel down, and relax into it. Some people squirt from G-spot play, and our guide on how to squirt explains what's happening.

Learn on the We-Vibe Rave 2, whose hinge holds your angle, and compare more curves in our best G-spot vibrators guide.

How to use a clit sucker or air pulse toy

Air pulse toys (often called clit suckers) don't rub. The opening sits over your clit and pulses of air do the work.

1. Lube the rim. Smooth some water-based lube around the rim and over your clit to help it seal.
2. Cup it over the clit. Spread your lips, set the opening over the head of your clit, and rest it lightly on the skin around it.
3. Lowest level first. Air pulse can feel like a lot, fast. If it's too strong, drop a level instead of lifting it off.
4. Rest, don't press. Keep the rim in light, even contact all the way around. Pressing hard can mute the pulses or feel sharp, and tilting it breaks the seal.
5. Try the other head. Losing the seal, or too sharp? Swap head sizes.

Learn on the Womanizer Classic 2, which comes with two head sizes. Our guide on how to use a rose toy goes deeper on suction toys, or browse our clit suckers.

How to use a finger vibrator

A finger vibe goes on one or two fingers, so the toy travels wherever your hand already knows to go.

1. Pad on the clit. Switch it on low, rest the pad on the hood and rub the way you normally would.
2. Curl inside. With lube, slip the tip just inside and crook your finger toward your belly while the pad stays on your clit.
3. Use it on a partner. Wear it while you finger a partner's pussy and play with their clit. It never goes in an ass: it isn't made for anal.

Learn on the Finger-pulse, with a pad for your clit and a tip that reaches inside.

How to use an app-controlled or remote vibrator

App toys work like any other vibrator. What changes is who holds the controls, and from how far away.

1. Pair it before you need it. Charge it, install the app and connect it a day ahead, then walk around your place to see where the connection holds.
2. Hand over control. Share control with your partner in the app, or hand them the phone if they're next to you, and agree on a word or a tap for slower and one for stop.
3. Go long distance. Get on a video call together and let them play from wherever they are.
4. Keep it private. Lock your phone with a passcode, share control only with someone you trust, and end the session when you're done.

Learn on the Lovense Ambi, a curved bullet that makes staying on target easier, and see more in our best app-controlled vibrators guide.

How to use wearable and egg vibrators

Panty vibes sit in your underwear over your clit; egg vibes go inside the vagina, with a remote or app outside. Put either in place before you get dressed and do a test run at home: walk, sit and switch it on. If a partner holds the controls, agree on when, how strong and a stop signal before you leave the house.

Eggs are for the vagina only, never the ass. Our best vibrating panties guide covers wearables and app eggs in depth.

How to use a couples vibrator

Couples vibes are worn during penetration, so you both feel the buzz. Fit it first, with lube, then add the penis, strap-on or toy slowly. Learn on the We-Vibe Sync 2; the full technique is in the during-sex section.

How to use a penis vibe or vibrating cock ring

Penis vibes rest against the shaft or the frenulum; vibrating rings hug the shaft at its base, with a small motor on top. Start both on low with lube, and take a ring off right away if anything goes numb, cold or painful. The full how-to is in the penis section.

Vibrating and thrusting dildos

A vibrating dildo has a motor inside; a thrusting one moves in and out by itself. Use either like any insertable toy (plenty of lube, go slow, a bullet on your clit), and anything for the ass needs a flared base. Our best thrusting dildos guide covers the kind that move on their own.

Ways to use a vibrator on yourself

Solo is where you learn what you'll later teach a partner.

• Over underwear. Not a beginner crutch, a whole technique. Fabric spreads the buzz and lets you press in firmer without it stinging.
• The side-of-the-clit press. Press the tip into the groove right beside the head of your clit and hold still. Switch sides when it dulls.
• Circles, then up and down. Small circles on the hood, then long strokes from your entrance up to your clit. Change the motion before you change the setting.
• Pairing. Fingers or a toy inside while the vibrator works your clit. In a nationally representative study of US women (PLOS ONE, 2021), 69.7% orgasm more often or find penetration more pleasurable with Pairing: touching the clit with a finger or toy while the vagina is penetrated.
• Rocking. Push a toy or your fingers deep and rock instead of thrusting, so something keeps grinding on your clit.
• Edging. Get to the brink, back off, and build again a few times before you let go. Our edging guide has the full method.
• Grinding on a wand. Lay a wand on a pillow, head up, drape a towel over it, and ride it with your hips doing all the work. Find more to ride in our grinding toys.
• Nipples. Circle a bullet around one nipple while your other hand works between your legs. Some people can come from nipple play alone, and our nipple orgasm guide shows how.
• Blended. G-spot inside, clit outside, at the same time. Our blended orgasm guide explains the combination.
• In the shower. Only with a toy whose listing says it can handle water. Check the water ratings first.

Solo positions to try

Position	How to do it	Why it works
On your back, knees up	Feet flat, knees bent, a pillow under your hips	Easy reach, and the best angle for rabbits and G-spot toys
Face down	Toy under you, trapped between your body and the bed	Your body weight does the pressing
Riding a pillow	Straddle a firm pillow with a wand on top	Your hips control pressure and pace
On your side	Top knee pulled up, toy from the front	Relaxed, good for long, slow sessions
Sitting up	Back against the headboard, legs open	You can watch everything, and it suits penis play too

How to use a vibrator on a penis

Vibrators aren't just for clits. On a penis, many people's most sensitive spot is the frenulum, the little ridge or V on the underside where the head meets the shaft, and a low buzz there can make a cock twitch all by itself.

1. Lube up. Smooth water-based lube over the shaft and the toy.
2. Start on the shaft, lowest setting. Slide the toy slowly along the underside, from the base to just below the head.
3. Find the frenulum. Hold the side of the toy against it and keep still. For many people, this is the spot.
4. Go easy on the head. Some love vibration right on the head; others find it way too much. Try it through fabric first.
5. Add the balls. Cup them and hold the toy against the sac on low.
6. Press the perineum. Pressing a vibe into the skin between the balls and the ass works the prostate from the outside.

Soft or hard, both work. You don't need to be hard to start: plenty of people love vibration on a soft penis.

During a hand job or blow job. Hold a bullet against the frenulum with your thumb while your hand strokes, or keep it on the balls or perineum while your mouth works the head.

Hands-free. Try a Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Essential, made for exactly this: it works on a penis whether it's soft or hard, needs no stroking, and gives you 5 vibration modes plus a frequency you can tune. Set it in place, settle back and let it build. To compare it with other toys built for this, see our guide to the best penis vibrators.

Vibrating cock rings and sheaths. A vibrating ring wraps the base of a cock, and its motor can buzz a partner's clit during sex; a vibrating sheath slips over the shaft. Fit either with lube on a soft or half-hard penis, and take it off right away if anything goes numb, cold or painful. Compare them in our best cock rings guide, or browse our cock rings.

Prostate play inside needs a toy made for it, with a flared base or a handle that stays outside. Our prostate play guide covers the how-to, and our best sex toys for men roundup has more for every penis.

Using a vibrator with a partner

In partner sex, a vibrator is a third hand that never gets tired.

Bring it up outside the bedroom. Keep it light and specific. Try one of these:

• "I've been playing with a vibrator on my own, and I want to show you what it does to me."
• "Want to pick out a toy together? I'd love to try one on you."
• "Can we use the vibe on my clit while you're inside me tonight?"

It adds to you; it doesn't replace you. If your partner feels threatened, say the true thing: a toy does one job very well, and you want them doing everything else. Then hand them the controls.

Build in check-ins. Before you start, agree on a word or a tap for slower and one for stop, and use them. A quick "more or less?" mid-session is sexy, not clinical, and you only keep going on an enthusiastic yes.

Let them hold it. Guide their hand to your favorite spot, show them the setting and pressure you like, then let them drive.

Show and tell. Use it on yourself while they watch, then swap. That's mutual masturbation, and it's the fastest way to learn each other.

On a woman, or anyone with a vulva. Start on her inner thighs and lower belly, work toward the hood, and watch her hips. Ask before you go direct, and match the pressure she pushes back with.

During oral. Hold a bullet just above the hood while your tongue works below it, or slide a G-spot toy in while you lick. Our guide to eating pussy has the rest.

Hand over the app. With an app toy, your partner can run it from the next pillow or the next time zone. The app steps under each type of vibrator cover setup and privacy.

Start with a massage. A wand makes a lovely back massager before it wanders lower.

How to use a vibrator during sex

Adding a vibrator brings the clit into penetrative sex, and it's the simplest fix there is. In a 2015 national survey of US women (Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 2018), 18.4% said intercourse alone was enough for orgasm, while 36.6% said clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during intercourse. Add Pairing from above (PLOS ONE, 2021: 69.7% of women orgasm more often or find penetration more pleasurable with it), and that's reason enough to bring one to bed.

Who holds it? Whoever has a free hand. The receiving partner usually has the best aim, or you wear one and nobody holds anything.

A bullet between bodies. In missionary or face-to-face riding, tuck a bullet between your pubic bones over the clit and let the grind keep it there.

A couples vibe worn inside. A We-Vibe Sync 2 is made to be worn during sex. Lube it, set its adjustable shape for your body, slide it in, then add the penis or toy alongside it. Rock more than you thrust so it stays put, and let the remote or app handle the settings.

A vibrating ring on the penis. A ring with a motor on top buzzes the clit every time your bodies meet. Take it off right away if anything goes numb, cold or painful.

Positions for using a vibrator during sex

Position	Who holds it	Where it goes	Good pick
Missionary	The bottom partner, or nobody if it's worn	Bullet between bodies on the clit, or a couples vibe inside	Full Metal Love, Sync 2
Riding on top	The rider	On the clit; riding leaves the rider's hands free to hold it	Ambi, Ultra Wand Mini
Doggy	The receiver reaches under, or the partner reaches around	On the clit, or on the balls from below	Ambi
Spooning	The back partner reaches around	On the clit from the front	Full Metal Love
Edge of the bed	The receiver, lying back	On the clit while the standing partner thrusts	Classic 2, Ultra Wand Mini
Seated in a lap	The one on top	Between bodies, on the clit	Full Metal Love
Reverse riding	The rider	On the clit, then back to the balls	Ambi
Oral plus vibe	The giver	On the hood or the balls while the mouth works	Full Metal Love

For more angles, see our best positions for sex using sex toys.

The best vibrators to learn on

One toy per type, each chosen because it makes that type easy to learn. Every spec below comes from the product's own listing.

Pick	Type	Best for	Price
Zero Tolerance Full Metal Love	Metal bullet	Pinpoint aim with one button	$55.95
Femme Funn Ultra Wand Mini	Wand	A wand with an extra-power button in a travel size	$62.95
Flicking Silicone Rabbit	Rabbit	Flicking inside and on the clit at once	$48.95
We-Vibe Rave 2	G-spot	Setting your angle, G-spot plus entrance	$118.95
Womanizer Classic 2	Air pulse	Clit play without rubbing	$95.95
Finger-pulse	Finger vibe	Your own hand, clit plus come-hither	$76.95
Lovense Ambi	App-controlled bullet	Handing a partner the controls	$58.95
We-Vibe Sync 2	Couples	Wearing during sex	$135.95
Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Essential	Penis vibe	Hands-free, soft or hard	$98.95

1. Zero Tolerance Full Metal Love: the bullet

Want to learn aim? This aluminum alloy bullet narrows to a point, which lets you place the vibration exactly beside your clit, on a nipple or under the head of a cock. It has one control, an LED-lit button on its base, and each press steps it up through 7 speeds.

It's fully submersible, so take it in the bath, and it charges magnetically over USB. At 1.16 inches in diameter and lighter than half a pound, it's slim enough to tuck between two bodies during sex. $55.95.

Get the Full Metal Love here.

2. Femme Funn Ultra Wand Mini: the wand

A full-size wand can feel like a lot of machine for a first try. This one measures 5.7 by 1.5 inches and its head flexes with your curves, so it's easy to hold over underwear or along a shaft. The silicone has a hexagonal texture you feel on contact.

You get 10 speeds and patterns, plus a separate button for extra power when you're close. It's waterproof (its listing gives no IP rating) and charges magnetically by USB: roughly 2 hours of charging gets you about 65 minutes running flat out. $62.95.

Get the Ultra Wand Mini here.

3. Flicking Silicone Rabbit Vibrator: the rabbit

This rabbit flicks as well as vibrates: the shaft ends in a round, vibrating G-spot head, part of the shaft flicks against your G-spot, and the ears flick at your clit.

Both halves have range: 3 speeds and 9 patterns on the shaft, 3 speeds and 8 patterns on the ears. It has 5.4 inches insertable (9.5 inches overall, 1.5 at the widest), it's silicone and ABS plastic, it charges with the USB cable in the box, and its listing says to use water-based lube. $48.95.

Get the Flicking Rabbit here.

4. We-Vibe Rave 2: the G-spot vibrator

The trickiest part of G-spot play is the angle, and the Rave 2 lets you set it. An adjustable hinge holds the curve where your body wants it, and the body has a slight twist built in, so tiny turns of your wrist sweep pressure across your G-spot. A second motor goes to work on the vaginal opening while it does.

Its two motors run together or separately through more than ten modes, and its app has long-distance control, so a partner can play from the next room or another state. It's IPX7, so the bath is fine, runs about 2 hours, takes 90 minutes to charge, and measures 8.5 by 1.5 inches. $118.95.

Get the We-Vibe Rave 2 here.

5. Womanizer Classic 2: the air pulse toy

If direct vibration on your clit feels too sharp, try air pulse. The Classic 2 works the clit with pulses of air instead of contact, and its 10 intensity levels climb from soft to strong. Two head sizes come in the box, so you can swap until the fit is right.

Then there's Afterglow: tap the power button once after you come and it falls straight to its lowest level, easing you down instead of stopping dead. It's IPX7 for the bath, gives 180 minutes of play from a 120-minute charge, and is about 5.8 inches long. $95.95.

Get the Womanizer Classic 2 here.

6. Finger-pulse: the finger vibe

A simple bridge from your hands to a toy. On one or two fingers, the Finger-pulse puts a textured pad on your clit while its tip reaches just inside, so a come-hither curl adds deep vibration exactly where you aim it. Three rings around it add texture as your hand moves.

Pulsing (10 modes) and vibration (3 speeds, 7 patterns) run side by side, so clit play and inside play can happen together. It measures 5.3 inches end to end, 3.75 of them insertable, charges magnetically in about an hour, and is rated IPX6: fine in the shower, but no soaking. Its listing calls for water-based lube. $76.95.

Get the Finger-pulse here.

7. Lovense Ambi: the app-controlled bullet

Many bullets have one classic flaw: they slide off the spot the second you move. The Ambi is curved to fit your body, which helps it stay on the spot, and it ranges from a wide wash of vibration to a pinpoint, or tighter still with super-pinpoint.

It runs from its app on iOS or Android (or a PC with a USB adapter), so you or a partner, close by or far away, can change the strength and rhythm from a phone. It's IPX7, gives 1.5 to 2 hours of play per USB charge, and is 3.39 inches long with 2.4 inches insertable. $58.95.

Get the Lovense Ambi here.

8. We-Vibe Sync 2: the couples vibe

Vibration during penetration, with nobody holding anything: the Sync 2 is built for wearing during sex. You adjust its shape to fit your body, and its soft edges and slim shape make it easy to slide in and comfortable to keep on.

The wearer feels it inside and their partner feels the vibration too, across 10-plus modes. Run it from the included remote or the app, from the same bed or a different continent, and since it's IPX7 it rinses clean and can come into the bath. $135.95.

Get the We-Vibe Sync 2 here.

9. Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Essential: the penis vibe

No stroking needed here: it's made to get you all the way there with no hands, and it works on a soft penis as well as a hard one, so there's no need to be hard before you begin.

Inside is an oscillator with several speeds, 5 vibration modes and a frequency you can adjust, so you can tune it until it hits right. It's waterproof and submersible (easy cleaning, shower-friendly), made of silicone and ABS, and runs about an hour on a 3-hour USB charge. $98.95.

Get the Pulse Solo Essential here.

Lube: which one and how much

Lube makes almost every vibrator feel better, and a dry, buzzing toy can rub bare skin raw.

Water-based is the default. It's safe with every toy material and with condoms, and it rinses off with water.

Silicone lube and silicone toys can clash. Silicone lube can damage the surface of a silicone toy, so patch-test a dab on the base first, or simply use water-based with anything silicone.

Oil and latex don't mix. Oil degrades latex condoms and soft materials, so keep it off condoms and soft toys.

How much? Start with a pea-sized drop on the toy and a little on you, and add more the moment anything feels sticky or draggy. Insertable toys want more than external ones, and air pulse and suction toys need a little on the rim to hold their seal. Stock up in our lube collection, or let our best lube guide pick a bottle for each job.

When it isn't working: troubleshooting

Find your problem, try the fix, and give it a session or two.

Problem	Try this
Too strong or ticklish	Drop to the lowest setting, add a layer of fabric, or move beside the clit instead of on it. Ticklish usually means you need more warm-up first.
It feels numb	Stop, take a break for a few minutes, then come back lower and beside the spot. Numbness that doesn't fade: talk to your doctor.
Not strong enough	Press in firmer before you go up a setting, go skin to skin, make sure it's fully charged, or try a wand for broader power.
It builds, then fades	Something changed. Next time, hold the same setting, spot and pressure right through the build.
It slips off the spot	Hold it like a pen with two fingers, lie face down on it, or try a curved bullet like the Lovense Ambi.
Rabbit ears miss the clit	Change the depth, tilt the handle toward your belly or your feet, put a pillow under your hips, or press the ears in with a finger.
Air pulse loses the seal	Add lube to the rim, hold it flat so the whole rim touches skin, spread your lips with your other hand, or switch head sizes.
It hurts	Stop. Use more lube, a lower setting, or stay outside. If the pain goes on, talk to your doctor.
It's loud, or getting louder	Every motor makes some sound, so run yours through its settings at home to know what to expect. For a toy that's getting louder, see the FAQ.
It dies mid-session	Charge it fully before you start; keep the charger by the bed.
It won't charge	Check the cable and contacts, make sure the port is clean and dry, and try another outlet. Our charging rescue guide walks you through the rest.
Partner feels left out	Hand them the controls and use it together during sex.
I can only come with my vibrator	Not a problem in itself. Mix in hands and lower settings now and then, and bring the vibrator into partner sex instead of hiding it.

Numbness, sensitivity and safety

Numbness is common and usually short. In a US national study of women who had ever used a vibrator (Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2009; 2008 data), 71.5% had never had any genital side effect from it, 16.5% had ever felt genital numbness, and 0.5% said the numbness lasted a day or longer. The authors describe the most common side effects as mild and short-lived.

What to do about it. Take breaks, lower the setting, move the toy beside the spot instead of on it, and add a layer of fabric. If numbness doesn't fade, or you have pain or bleeding, talk to your doctor.

Anal rules. The outside of the anus loves vibration: circle the rim with a bullet or a wand, hold it firmly by its base or handle, and never let it slip in. Inside is different: anything that goes in an ass needs a flared base or a handle that stays outside, because the rectum can pull things in. None of the picks on this page is an anal toy, so keep them on the outside and use toys made for it, like our vibrating butt plugs or the picks in our best butt plugs guide.

Go slow back there. Use lots of lube, never force anything, and stop at any sharp pain. Never move a toy or finger from your ass to a vagina or mouth without washing it or changing the condom. If something gets stuck inside the rectum, get medical help right away.

Sharing toys. A toy that goes from one body to another can pass sexually transmitted infections (STIs) along, so wash it between bodies, or put a fresh condom on it each time it changes hands. Our guide to condoms on sex toys shows how.

Pregnant, or living with a health condition? Talk to your doctor before you play, and stop if anything feels wrong.

Water ratings in plain words

What the listing says	What it means	Picks with it
IPX7, or submersible	Can go under water: bath and shower	Full Metal Love, Rave 2, Classic 2, Ambi, Sync 2, Pulse Solo Essential
IPX6	Handles the shower and splashes, not soaking	Finger-pulse
Waterproof, no rating	Sold as waterproof, with no number to say how much: wash it with soap and water, and check its instructions before a bath	Ultra Wand Mini
No rating at all	Make no water assumptions: wash it the way its listing says, and keep it out of the bath and shower	Flicking Rabbit

Cleaning, charging and storage

Clean it before the first use and after every use. Warm water and a mild, unscented soap or a toy cleaner. Rinse it under the tap only if its listing says it can handle water; otherwise wipe it with a soapy cloth, then a damp one, and keep water out of the charging port. Dry it completely.

Charge it dry, with its own cable. Use the cable it came with and never charge a damp toy. Here's what each pick's listing says about charging (the Sync 2's listing gives no charging details, so follow its instructions).

Pick	How it charges	Charge time	Run time
Full Metal Love	Magnetic USB	Not listed	Not listed
Ultra Wand Mini	Magnetic USB	About 2 hours	About 65 minutes on the highest setting
Flicking Rabbit	USB, cable included	Not listed	Not listed
Rave 2	Not listed	90 minutes	About 2 hours
Classic 2	USB	120 minutes	180 minutes
Finger-pulse	Magnetic USB	About 1 hour	Not listed
Ambi	USB	Not listed	1.5 to 2 hours
Pulse Solo Essential	USB	3 hours	About 1 hour

Travel and storage. If your toy has a travel lock, switch it on before it goes in a bag. Store each toy in its own pouch or a clean drawer, away from heat and direct sun, and keep soft toys from touching each other.

How to use a vibrator: FAQ

Does a vibrator go inside or outside?

Both, depending on the type. Wands and air pulse toys stay outside, and so do most bullets; rabbits, G-spot vibes, eggs and couples vibes go inside the vagina; finger vibes do a little of each. Nothing goes in an ass unless it's made for anal with a flared base.

Can you use a vibrator wrong?

Not really, but a few habits get in the way. The big ones are starting on the highest setting, pressing straight on the head of the clit before you're aroused, skipping lube, and changing settings right as an orgasm builds. Start low, start beside the spot, and when it feels good, change nothing.

How do I come with a vibrator?

Warm up first, then hold a low, steady setting beside or on your clit (or your frenulum) and keep it there. When you feel it building, don't change the setting, the spot or the pressure; breathe and let it carry you. Fingers or a toy inside at the same time help many people get there.

How long should you use a vibrator the first time?

As long as it feels good, with breaks whenever things go numb. Give yourself at least 20 minutes with no deadline, because warming up and finding your spot takes time, and plenty of people don't come in their first session. If you feel numb or sore, stop and try again another day on a lower setting.

Do you need lube with a vibrator?

You don't strictly need it, but it makes nearly every vibrator feel better. Lube turns friction into glide, helps air pulse toys seal and makes insertable toys comfortable. Use water-based: it's safe with every toy material and condoms. Silicone lube can damage silicone toys, and oil degrades latex condoms and soft materials.

Can a vibrator make you numb?

Yes, briefly, and it's common. In a US national study of women who had ever used a vibrator (Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2009; 2008 data), 16.5% had ever felt genital numbness, and only 0.5% said it lasted a day or longer. Lower the setting, move beside the spot and take breaks. If numbness doesn't fade, talk to your doctor.

Is it OK to use a vibrator every day?

Yes, if it feels good and nothing hurts. There's no set limit. If you notice numbness, or find you can only come one way, take a day off, use lower settings, and mix in hands and other kinds of touch. Soreness or numbness that sticks around is a reason to talk to your doctor.

Will a vibrator ruin sex with my partner?

No. A vibrator adds a sensation; it doesn't replace a person, and it can help: in a 2015 national survey of US women (Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 2018), only 18.4% said intercourse alone was enough for orgasm. Bring it in as a team toy, let your partner hold it, and keep talking about what works.

How do you use a vibrator on a man?

Start on the shaft's underside at the lowest setting, with lube, then slide up to the frenulum just below the head, a hot spot for many people with a penis. Add the balls and the perineum, use it during a hand job or blow job, or try a hands-free penis vibe. It works soft or hard.

Can you use a vibrator for anal?

Only on the outside, unless the toy is made for anal. The rim of the anus loves vibration, so circling it with a bullet held firmly is fine. Anything that goes inside needs a flared base or a handle that stays outside, plenty of lube and a slow start.

None of the picks here is an anal toy, so use a vibrating butt plug instead. Wash a toy before it goes from your ass to a vagina or mouth, and stop at any sharp pain.

Can you use a vibrator in the shower?

Only if its listing says it can handle water. IPX7 or submersible toys can go in the shower and the bath, and an IPX6 toy like the Finger-pulse can handle the shower, just not a soak. "Waterproof" with no rating is a vaguer promise, and a toy with no rating at all stays out of the shower.

How do you clean a vibrator?

Wash it with a gentle soap and warm water, or spray on a toy cleaner, before its first use and each time you finish. Rinse it under the tap only if its listing says it can handle water (submersible, IPX7, IPX6 or waterproof); otherwise wipe it with a soapy cloth, then a damp one. Dry it completely and store it in its own pouch.

How long does a vibrator take to charge?

Between about one and three hours for the picks on this page that list a charge time, so check your own toy's listing. The Finger-pulse takes about an hour, the Rave 2 takes 90 minutes, the Ultra Wand Mini about 2 hours, the Classic 2 takes 120 minutes and the Pulse Solo Essential takes 3 hours. Charge it dry, with the cable it came with.

Why is my vibrator getting louder?

Usually because something changed in or around the motor. A low battery, a part that has worked loose, or lint and debris caught near the moving parts can all change how it sounds. Charge it fully, clean it, and check that every cap and seam is snug. If it still rattles or grinds, it's wearing out, so replace it.

Vibrator or dildo: what's the difference?

A vibrator has a motor; a dildo is a shaped toy for penetration with no motor, so you supply all the movement. Vibrators can be external or internal, while dildos go inside. A vibrating dildo is both at once, or you can pair a dildo with a bullet on your clit.

The bottom line

Using a vibrator well comes down to five words: lube, low, outside, slow, steady. Start beside the spot, let pressure do as much work as the buttons, and when something feels good, don't touch a thing.

Ready for more? Try the techniques in our female masturbation guide, bring a toy to bed with our best sex toys for couples, pick your first toy with our best vibrators for beginners, or browse our vibrators.

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Maya Sterling, AdultLuxe editorial. Read our editorial standards.