What is a strap-on?
A strap-on is a dildo worn on the body rather than held. A harness around the hips or a thigh holds it in an O-ring; a strapless strap-on is held by a bulb inside the wearer. Any body can wear one, in any pairing: pegging, two vulvas, or a penis owner who wants a hollow shaft or a second one. Here: harnesses, vibrating kits, strapless and hollow strap-ons, a thigh strap and a pillow harness.
Harness or strapless?
A harness is the steady choice: its O-ring holds a flared-base dildo, and you can swap dildos any time. A strapless strap-on has none: the wearer keeps a bulb inside with a squeeze of the Kegel muscles (the Ergo-Fit inflates its bulb to fit) while the shaft at the other end does the penetrating; both ends do something, and keeping it steady takes practice. Vibrating kits sit between: harness plus motorized dildo.
Types of strap-ons and harnesses
Strap-on harnesses
Bring your own dildo. The Sportsheets Montero is faux leather: 4-way adjustable straps positioned to leave room for the scrotum, snaps for various O-ring sizes (a 2-inch ring included), hips up to 69 inches; extra strap can be trimmed. The Strap-On-Me Curious, in leatherette, comes with two belts, XS to M and L to XXL, adjustable straps at waist and thigh, and a double stretchy silicone O-ring for any dildo; the spare belt doubles as handcuffs. Pick a dildo with a flared base wider than the ring.
Vibrating strap-on kits (harness and dildo)
The VeDO Strapped is a ridged silicone dildo on a harness that adjusts to fit most bodies: a remote, 10 modes across 6 intensity levels the wearer feels too, submersible. The VeDO Diki has two motors, a travel lock and a suction base, and runs quietly. The Heavenly Harness kit screws a rabbit-shaped G-spot sleeve or a girthy traditional one onto its vibrating core; 30-foot remote, harness for 28 to 62-inch waists. The Gender X Snuggle Up hides a wavy silicone shaft in lace booty shorts, with separate 10-speed motors at tip and base. More remote control vibrators.
Strapless strap-ons
The Mighty Rider is double-ended: a 4-inch bulb, a curved 5.2-inch shaft shaped to target the prostate (and the G-spot), a textured clitoral pad, dual motors, IPX7. The Ergo-Fit Swirl has an inflatable bulb and a swirl-textured shaft; IPX5. The Strap U runs three motors (bulb, shaft, and an opening that licks the wearer's clit); IPX6. The Strap-On-Me Multi Orgasm has three motors, a bendable shaft and a remote with up to about 33 feet of range. The 2 Become 1 strapless dildo adds an air-pulsing suction point on the wearer's end and a 30-foot remote; completely submersible.
Hollow strap-ons (strap-ons for men)
A hollow strap-on is worn over the penis, with its own harness. Our Fantasy X-tensions Elite hollow strap-on pairs an included harness (24 to 53-inch waists) with a hollow dual-density silicone shaft: a 1.3-inch opening, a soft head and a flexible base. It's for anyone who wants penetration without relying on an erection, or more length and girth. Water-based lube only on the silicone; hand-wash the harness. More penis sleeves and extenders.
Thigh straps and pillow harnesses
The Sportsheets Ultra Thigh is a soft, stretchy neoprene band, 6 inches wide, that straps around a thigh, an arm, a knee or a pillow; its reinforced nitrile O-ring, 1.75 inches across, takes any compatible flared-base dildo (sold separately), and the hook-and-loop closure runs from about 17 to 32 inches around. The Universal Wand Harness isn't a strap-on: it holds a wand massager against a pillow you grind on hands-free, with straps that open up to 58 inches around for pillows 9 to 28.5 inches wide (no wand included). Shop wand vibrators and grinding sex toys.
How to choose a strap-on
- Harness, kit or strapless. Harness: you choose the dildo. Kit: vibration, harness included. Strapless: both ends in play.
- Fit. Montero: hips to 69 inches. Heavenly Harness: 28 to 62-inch waists. Snuggle Up: 30 to 40. Hollow strap-on: 24 to 53. Ultra Thigh: about 17 to 32 around a limb.
- Ring and base. 2 inches on the Montero (snaps take other sizes), 1.75 on the Ultra Thigh; the dildo's base must be wider.
- Shaft size. Insertable: 5.2 inches (Mighty Rider), 5.5 (Strap U, 2 Become 1), 4.5 and 5.5 (Heavenly Harness sleeves), 5.6 (Ergo-Fit), 5.79 (Multi Orgasm Small), 6 (Snuggle Up).
- Who feels it. Wearer too: the Strapped (vibration), Mighty Rider and Ergo-Fit (clitoral pad), Strap U (licking), 2 Become 1 (air pulses).
- Remote. 30 feet on the Heavenly Harness and 2 Become 1, up to about 33 on the Multi Orgasm; the others include a remote, no stated range.
How to use a strap-on (and how to peg)
- Harness: straps snug, O-ring over the pubic bone, base seated in the ring. Strapless: lube the bulb, ease it in, squeeze.
- Talk first: a stop word, what's off the table, and the receiver sets pace and depth.
- Warm up the receiver with fingers or a smaller toy (a slim prostate massager suits pegging), plus plenty of water-based lube.
- The receiver guides the first strokes; backing onto the toy sets the depth.
- Go slowly, check in, add lube often. Never force it; sharp pain means stop.
- Strapless: short, slow strokes until the wearer can hold it steady.
- Then wash the toy and hand-wash the harness.
Cleaning, care and safety
- After every use, soap and rinse silicone dildos and sleeves in warm water, or spray them with toy cleaner, then dry them fully.
- Harnesses: hand-wash faux leather, leatherette, pleather, vegan leather, neoprene, Lycra or lace, wipe the O-ring and air-dry fully; the Montero, Curious, Ultra Thigh, wand harness and hollow strap-on carry no water rating.
- Water: submerge only the Strapped, Diki, Snuggle Up, Heavenly Harness vibe, 2 Become 1 and IPX7 Mighty Rider (the Multi Orgasm is waterproof). Strap U: IPX6, shower only. Ergo-Fit: IPX5, rinse, never soak.
- Charging: USB for the Strapped, Diki, Strap U, Ergo-Fit, Snuggle Up, Multi Orgasm, Mighty Rider and 2 Become 1; the Mighty Rider's remote shares its cable, the 2 Become 1's is magnetic.
- Lube: water-based with silicone; silicone lube can harm it.
- Anus to vagina, or a new partner? Not until the toy is washed or wearing a fresh condom. The stop word stops everything, whoever holds the remote. Lingering pain, bleeding or numbness: talk to your doctor.
Strap-on FAQ
How does a strap-on work?
A harness holds a dildo against the wearer: its flared base sits behind an O-ring, the straps keep it there, and the hips do the thrusting. A strapless strap-on is held by a bulb the wearer squeezes inside (the Ergo-Fit's inflates). Kits add motors.
How do you put on a strap-on?
Step into the harness, pull the straps snug, settle the O-ring over your pubic bone, then push the dildo's base through the ring from behind. Strapless: lube the bulb, insert, squeeze.
Does any dildo fit a strap-on harness?
Not every dildo: it needs a flat or flared base wider than the ring, so it can't pull through. The Montero's ring is 2 inches, the Ultra Thigh's 1.75, and the Curious's stretchy silicone ring takes any dildo, per its listing.
What is a strapless strap-on?
A strapless strap-on is a double-ended toy with no harness: a bulb at one end sits inside the wearer, held in with a squeeze, and a shaft at the other goes into a partner. Here: the Mighty Rider, Ergo-Fit Swirl, Strap U, Multi Orgasm and 2 Become 1.
Can the person wearing a strap-on feel anything?
Yes, depending on the toy. A plain harness gives pressure. The Strapped's vibration reaches the wearer, the Mighty Rider and Ergo-Fit have a clitoral pad, the Strap U licks and vibrates its bulb, and the 2 Become 1 pulses air against the wearer.
Are strap-ons only for women?
No. Any body can wear a harness or a strapless strap-on, and any body can receive. Hollow strap-ons are worn over the penis: the hollow strap-on here comes with its own harness, for anyone who wants penetration without relying on an erection, or more length and girth.
What size strap-on is best for a pegging beginner?
Slimmer and shorter than you'd guess. The Mighty Rider's shaft is the slimmest with a stated width here: 1 to 1.3 inches wide, 5.2 insertable, built for pegging. In a harness, start with a slim flared-base dildo and size up once that feels easy.
How do you clean a strap-on harness?
Hand-wash it in warm water with a dab of mild soap, rinse, and air-dry it fully before storing; don't soak a harness with metal or plastic hardware. Wipe the O-ring, popping a removable ring out to clean behind it. Wash the dildo separately.
Want our top picks?
For a harness dildo, see our 10 best dildos guide; for the warm-up, our 8 best prostate massagers guide helps you pick. Every order ships discreetly from the US, free over $75.
