This printable yes, no, maybe list is the easiest way to find out what you and a partner both want. Below are 186 kinks and sexual activities in 17 themes, from gentle to advanced. Each of you marks yes, maybe or no, then you compare and talk about the overlaps.
How to use it
- Print one copy, or two if you'd rather keep your marks private.
- Fill in your own columns alone: Y for yes, M for maybe, N for no.
- Sit down together and start with the things you both marked yes. Treat every no as final and every maybe as a conversation.
Partner 1Partner 2Date
Y = yes, into it. M = maybe, curious. N = no, not for me. Partner 1 uses the first three columns and partner 2 the last three. Dots show intensity. Where an activity has two sides, write G (give), R (receive) or B (both) next to your yes.
Sensation & Touch
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Biting Gentle (Bite / Get bitten) | ||||||
| Erotic massage Gentle (Give a massage / Get a massage) | ||||||
| Feather and light-touch teasing Gentle (Tease / Get teased) | ||||||
| Grinding and dry humping Gentle | ||||||
| Hair pulling Gentle (Pull hair / Get hair pulled) | ||||||
| Nipple play Gentle (Tease theirs / Get yours teased) | ||||||
| Scratching Gentle (Scratch / Get scratched) | ||||||
| Tickling Gentle (Tickle / Get tickled) | ||||||
| Wartenberg wheel and pinwheels Gentle (Roll the wheel / Feel the wheel) | ||||||
| Marking Medium (Leave marks / Wear marks) | ||||||
| Pain play (S&M) Medium (Give pain / Receive pain) | ||||||
| Clamps and clothespins Advanced (Put them on / Wear them) | ||||||
| Cock and ball torture (CBT) Advanced (Dish it out / Take it) | ||||||
| Pussy and clit torture Advanced (Tease and torment / Get tormented) | ||||||
Praise & Talk
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Begging Gentle (Make them beg / Beg for it) | ||||||
| Dirty talk Gentle (Talk dirty / Hear dirty talk) | ||||||
| Fantasy sharing and erotic stories Gentle | ||||||
| Jerk-off instruction (JOI) Gentle (Give instructions / Follow instructions) | ||||||
| Phone sex Gentle | ||||||
| Praise kink Gentle (Give praise / Get praised) | ||||||
| Sexting Gentle | ||||||
| Voice and audio kink Gentle | ||||||
| Body writing Medium (Write on them / Get written on) | ||||||
| Degradation Medium (Degrade them / Get degraded) | ||||||
| Humiliation Medium (Embarrass them / Be embarrassed) | ||||||
| Small penis humiliation (SPH) Medium (Do the teasing / Get teased) | ||||||
Clothes & Materials
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Clothed sex Gentle | ||||||
| Corsets Gentle (Lace them in / Get laced in) | ||||||
| Gloves Gentle | ||||||
| Leather Gentle | ||||||
| Lingerie Gentle | ||||||
| Shoes, heels and boots Gentle | ||||||
| Spandex and zentai Gentle | ||||||
| Stockings, nylons and pantyhose Gentle | ||||||
| Underwear and panties Gentle | ||||||
| Uniforms Gentle | ||||||
| Latex and rubber Medium | ||||||
| Masks Medium | ||||||
Body Worship
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Body worship Gentle (Worship / Be worshipped) | ||||||
| Breast and chest play Gentle (Play with theirs / Have yours played with) | ||||||
| Butt worship Gentle (Worship theirs / Have yours worshipped) | ||||||
| Foot fetish and foot worship Gentle (Worship feet / Have yours worshipped) | ||||||
| Genital worship Gentle (Worship / Be worshipped) | ||||||
| Hair fetish Gentle (Play with theirs / Have yours played with) | ||||||
| Hand fetish Gentle (Admire their hands / Show off yours) | ||||||
| Muscle worship Gentle (Worship muscles / Flex and show off) | ||||||
| Pregnancy fetish Gentle | ||||||
| Scent and smell Gentle | ||||||
| Size difference Gentle | ||||||
| Tattoos and piercings Gentle | ||||||
| Armpit fetish Medium (Worship theirs / Have yours worshipped) | ||||||
| Feederism Advanced (Feed / Be fed) | ||||||
| Trampling Advanced (Trample / Get trampled) | ||||||
Toys & Tech
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Hands-free strokers Gentle (Run the controls / Get stroked) | ||||||
| Remote-control and app play Gentle (Hold the remote / Wear the toy) | ||||||
| Sex furniture and swings Gentle | ||||||
| Strap-ons Gentle (Wear it / Take it) | ||||||
| Vibrator play with a partner Gentle (Hold the vibe / Feel the vibe) | ||||||
| Pumping Medium (Work the pump / Get pumped) | ||||||
| Sex machines Medium (Set the speed / Take the ride) | ||||||
| Size play and stretching Medium (Do the stretching / Get stretched) | ||||||
Role Play
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Boss and employee Gentle (Be the boss / Be the employee) | ||||||
| Cheating fantasy Gentle | ||||||
| Cosplay and costume play Gentle | ||||||
| Furry and fursuit play Gentle | ||||||
| Monster and fantasy creature play Gentle | ||||||
| Role play Gentle | ||||||
| Sex worker role play Gentle (Be the client / Be the pro) | ||||||
| Strangers role play Gentle | ||||||
| Interrogation scenes Medium (Interrogate / Be the captive) | ||||||
| Medical play Medium (Play doctor / Be the patient) | ||||||
| Pet play Medium (Be the owner / Be the pet) | ||||||
| Pony play Advanced (Be the trainer / Be the pony) | ||||||
Power & Control
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Cockwarming Gentle (Be the warmer / Get warmed) | ||||||
| Collaring and ownership Gentle (Collar them / Wear the collar) | ||||||
| Dominance and submission (D/s) Gentle (Take charge / Hand it over) | ||||||
| Maledom Gentle (Be the dom / Follow his lead) | ||||||
| Orders and obedience Gentle (Give orders / Obey) | ||||||
| Rules, protocols and tasks Gentle (Set the rules / Follow the rules) | ||||||
| Service submission Gentle (Serve / Be served) | ||||||
| Switching Gentle | ||||||
| Bratting and brat taming Medium (Tame the brat / Be the brat) | ||||||
| Erotic hypnosis and mind control Medium (Be the hypnotist / Go under) | ||||||
| Femdom and female-led relationships Medium (Be the domme / Follow her lead) | ||||||
| Objectification and human furniture Medium (Use the object / Be the object) | ||||||
| Primal play Medium (Be the predator / Be the prey) | ||||||
| Punishment and discipline Medium (Set the penalty / Pay the penalty) | ||||||
| Financial domination (findom) Advanced (Collect tribute / Pay tribute) | ||||||
| Free use Advanced (Help yourself / Be free use) | ||||||
| Master/slave (M/s) dynamics Advanced (Be the Master / Be the slave) | ||||||
| Total power exchange (TPE) Advanced (Lead full time / Follow full time) | ||||||
Bondage & Restraint
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Bed restraints Gentle (Strap them down / Get strapped down) | ||||||
| Handcuffs and cuffs Gentle (Cuff them / Get cuffed) | ||||||
| Light bondage Gentle (Tie them up / Get tied up) | ||||||
| Verbal bondage Gentle (Give the order / Stay still) | ||||||
| Bondage furniture Medium (Strap them in / Get strapped in) | ||||||
| Gags Medium (Gag them / Get gagged) | ||||||
| Rope bondage Medium (Do the tying / Get tied) | ||||||
| Spreader bar Medium (Spread them / Get spread) | ||||||
| Caging and confinement Advanced (Keep them caged / Get caged) | ||||||
| Hogtie Advanced (Tie them / Get hogtied) | ||||||
| Mummification and encasement Advanced (Wrap them / Get wrapped) | ||||||
| Predicament bondage Advanced (Set the trap / Get caught in it) | ||||||
| Self-bondage Advanced | ||||||
| Shibari and kinbaku Advanced (Tie the rope / Wear the rope) | ||||||
| Suspension bondage Advanced (Do the rigging / Go flying) | ||||||
Impact
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Spanking Gentle (Spank / Get spanked) | ||||||
| Belts and straps Medium (Use the belt / Feel the belt) | ||||||
| Flogging Medium (Flog / Get flogged) | ||||||
| Impact play Medium (Bring the impact / Feel the impact) | ||||||
| Paddling Medium (Paddle / Get paddled) | ||||||
| Riding crop Medium (Use the crop / Feel the crop) | ||||||
| Caning Advanced (Use the cane / Get caned) | ||||||
| Face slapping Advanced (Slap / Get slapped) | ||||||
| Genital slapping Advanced (Slap / Get slapped) | ||||||
| Whipping Advanced (Crack the whip / Feel the whip) | ||||||
Sensory & Temperature
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Blindfolds Gentle (Blindfold them / Wear the blindfold) | ||||||
| Food play Gentle (Lick it off / Be the dessert) | ||||||
| Temperature play Gentle (Run hot and cold / Feel hot and cold) | ||||||
| Warming and tingling lubes Gentle (Rub it on / Feel the tingle) | ||||||
| Sensory deprivation Medium (Take their senses / Lose your senses) | ||||||
| Wax play Medium (Drip the wax / Feel the drip) | ||||||
| Bondage hoods Advanced (Hood them / Wear the hood) | ||||||
| Electro play (e-stim) Advanced (Hold the controls / Feel the current) | ||||||
| Figging Advanced (Do the figging / Get figged) | ||||||
Edging & Orgasm Control
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Edging Gentle (Edge them / Get edged) | ||||||
| Orgasm control Medium (Be in control / Ask permission) | ||||||
| Orgasm denial Medium (Do the denying / Get denied) | ||||||
| Ruined orgasm Medium (Ruin it / Get ruined) | ||||||
| Chastity Advanced (Hold the key / Get locked up) | ||||||
| Forced orgasm and overstimulation Advanced (Keep them coming / Be kept coming) | ||||||
Exhibition & Voyeurism
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Mirror play Gentle | ||||||
| Mutual masturbation Gentle | ||||||
| Nude photos and boudoir Gentle (Take the photos / Be the model) | ||||||
| Sex in new places (private) Gentle | ||||||
| Striptease and lap dances Gentle (Put on the show / Enjoy the show) | ||||||
| Watching porn together Gentle | ||||||
| Camming and live shows Medium | ||||||
| Clothed and naked (CFNM/CMNF) Medium (Stay clothed / Get naked) | ||||||
| Discreet public play Medium (Pull the strings / Keep a straight face) | ||||||
| Exhibitionism (consensual) Medium | ||||||
| Filming yourselves Medium | ||||||
| Voyeurism (consensual) Medium | ||||||
Oral & Anal
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Anal beads Gentle (Use beads on them / Take the beads) | ||||||
| Butt plugs and anal toys Gentle (Plug them / Wear a plug) | ||||||
| Oral sex Gentle (Give / Receive) | ||||||
| Sixty-nine (69) Gentle | ||||||
| Anal sex Medium (Penetrate / Get penetrated) | ||||||
| Anal training Medium (Train them / Get trained) | ||||||
| Face-sitting and queening Medium (Sit on their face / Be sat on) | ||||||
| Pegging Medium (Peg / Get pegged) | ||||||
| Prostate play Medium (Give / Receive) | ||||||
| Rimming Medium (Rim them / Get rimmed) | ||||||
| Deepthroat and face-fucking Advanced (Use their mouth / Take it deep) | ||||||
| Double penetration (DP) Advanced (Penetrate them / Take both) | ||||||
| Fisting Advanced (Fist them / Get fisted) | ||||||
Group & Open
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Foursomes and partner swaps Medium | ||||||
| Group masturbation Medium | ||||||
| Jealousy play and compersion Medium | ||||||
| Open relationships and polyamory (ENM) Medium | ||||||
| Play parties and sex clubs Medium | ||||||
| Swinging Medium | ||||||
| Threesomes Medium | ||||||
| Cuckolding Advanced | ||||||
| Cuckqueaning Advanced | ||||||
| Gangbang Advanced | ||||||
| Glory hole Advanced (Put it through / Take what comes through) | ||||||
| Hotwifing and stag/vixen Advanced | ||||||
| Orgies and group sex Advanced | ||||||
Gender & Identity Play
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Bi-curious exploration Gentle | ||||||
| Cross-dressing Gentle | ||||||
| Gender role reversal Gentle | ||||||
| Masculinization and boi play Gentle | ||||||
| Bimbofication and himbofication Medium (Transform them / Be transformed) | ||||||
| Feminization and sissy play Medium (Feminize them / Be feminized) | ||||||
Fluids & Messy Play
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Squirting Gentle (Help them squirt / Squirt) | ||||||
| Wet and messy (WAM) Gentle | ||||||
| Breeding kink Medium (Breed them / Get bred) | ||||||
| Cum play Medium (Give / Receive) | ||||||
| Lactation kink Medium (Share your milk / Taste their milk) | ||||||
| Spit play Medium (Spit / Get spat on) | ||||||
| Watersports Advanced (Pee on them / Get peed on) | ||||||
Edge Play
| Kink | Partner 1 | Partner 2 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kink | Y | M | N | Y | M | N |
| Abduction role play Advanced (Be the captor / Be the captive) | ||||||
| Consensual non-consent (CNC) Advanced (Play the aggressor / Play the resister) | ||||||
| Fear play Advanced (Do the scaring / Get scared) | ||||||
| Sounding Advanced (Do the sounding / Get sounded) | ||||||
Yes, no, maybe list FAQ
What is a yes, no, maybe list?
It's a checklist of sexual activities where each partner marks yes (into it), maybe (curious, with the right person) or no (not for me). You fill it in separately, then compare to find what you both want and what to talk about.
Should we fill it in together or apart?
Apart. Answering alone keeps you honest about what you want, rather than what you think your partner wants to hear. Compare afterward, starting with the things you both marked yes.
Is there an online version?
Yes. The Kink Test turns this list into a private card game. You each answer on your own phone, and the reveal only shows what you both want, so nobody sees the other's no answers.
What do the dots and two-sided notes mean?
The dots show intensity: one for gentle, two for medium, three for advanced. Where an activity has two sides, the list names them, so each partner can note which side they want.
By Maya Sterling, AdultLuxe editorial. Updated October 2026. Read our editorial standards.