Tip 2: Be Willing to discuss new fetishes and kinks. I know, I know, sounds scary, but hear (or read) me out. The idea of trying new things in bed might make you as anxious as taking a test on something you’ve never studied before- I get it. However, if you’re with the right person, that will not be the case. Think about it. If you’re reading these tips specifically, it is because you’re already in a committed relationship and want to ensure the fire doesn’t die out, right? Stay with me. If you’re so worried about your relationship remaining spicy, it is most likely that you are comfortable enough with your partner to trust them with any thought or idea and they love you back enough to at least listen and consider. Therefore, why not suggest trying new tricks?
If you read our first tip, you’re aware of the option to dig deeper into what already works- or you should at least be aware of what your partner already likes (if you missed this tip, click here).
Now, it’s time to step things up a notch and perhaps suggest that vibrator you’ve been eyeing (for some of the best check out our vibrator section), or that oil massage you peeped in that one book at the library. How about that position you found in a copy of the infamous Kama Sutra? You cannot be afraid to express your authentic self to the person that is supposed to know and love you the best. Carrie Weisman has some great suggestions on how to approach your partner about certain desires in her article “How to Talk about Trying New Things in Bed”. For instance, if you don’t know how to explain or describe what it is you want to try, she suggests showing a porn clip of it, and who knows, maybe even watching porn to begin with is the “new” for your relationship!
It is no secret that sex is a crucial part of most relationships. According to experts, it is a bonding opportunity, an expression of love and affection, a sense of security within the relationship, and/or good ol’ fun and pleasure. Thus, maintaining it at a healthy level is beneficial to both parties. Healthy sex contributes to improvement of self-confidence and connection to own body and many more advantages (click here for the full list). The incorporation of new tricks and kinks can contribute to these benefits and keep both you and your partner happier than ever. And if they don’t, if you try something new and it’s not either of your thing, at least you tried- you can always go back to missionary (or whatever you are actually familiar with). Life is an adventure, and so is sex-don’t be afraid to explore it!