Alright, let’s talk about something that no one really wants to talk about but happens more often than people care to admit: queefing. You might already be nodding your head because, yes, this is one of those weird, embarrassing moments that most people have no idea how to handle, especially during sex. And guess what? It’s totally normal!
You’ve probably landed here because your Vulva Owner queefs during sex, and while you’re not shaming them for it (good on you for being a respectful partner), they are still feeling a bit mortified. The question is: Why is it happening now when it wasn’t before? What’s changed, and is there anything you can do about it?
We’re going to dive into all things queefing—why it happens, what’s going on anatomically, and how to make it less awkward. By the end of this deep dive, you’ll be a queef expert, and trust me, you’ll realize it’s just another one of those “sex things” that doesn’t need to be a big deal.
What Exactly is Queefing?
First things first, let’s define queefing. A queef, also known as vaginal flatulence, occurs when air gets trapped in the vagina and is released with a sound that resembles a fart. Spoiler alert: It’s not a fart. Unlike farting, which involves gas produced by digestion, queefing is simply air getting pushed out of the vaginal canal, typically due to movement during sex, yoga, or any activity that changes the pressure in and around that area.
So, it’s not gross, it’s not smelly, and it’s definitely not something to be embarrassed about. It's just air trying to find its way out. It can happen during penetration, when shifting positions, or even after the act is over.
Why is It Happening?
If you are looking up queefing, I am, going to assume that it is a new development for you, which raises the question: What’s changed? Here are several factors that might explain why queefing has become more common during sex lately.
1. Changes in Sexual Positions
If you’ve recently started experimenting with different sex positions, this might be your culprit. Some positions—especially those that involve deep penetration, like doggy style or any angle where her hips are elevated—create more opportunities for air to get trapped inside the vaginal canal.
The deeper the penetration, the greater the chance that air is getting pushed in. So if you’ve recently tried a new favorite position or switched up your routine, that could be the reason behind the increased queefing.
2. Lubrication (Or Lack Thereof)
A change in lubrication can also affect how much air gets trapped. When the vagina is properly lubricated (whether from natural arousal or added lubricant), there’s less friction during sex, which may allow for smoother movement and less chance for air pockets to form. If your wife isn’t as naturally lubricated or if you’re skipping the lube lately, it might lead to more air being trapped.
Also, some lubricants are thicker or thinner than others. If you’ve switched to a different brand, that could also explain why the air dynamics have changed.
3. Childbirth or Changes in Pelvic Floor Muscles
If your wife has given birth recently or even a while ago, childbirth can affect the pelvic floor muscles. These muscles help control the release of air from the vagina. A weakened pelvic floor (something that happens naturally post-pregnancy) could lead to more frequent queefing during sex because the muscles aren’t as tight as they used to be.
The solution here could be Kegel exercises, which strengthen the pelvic floor. More on that later.
4. Hormonal Changes
Hormones are sneaky. As women age, especially after childbirth or as they approach perimenopause, their bodies go through a lot of changes, including fluctuations in estrogen levels. This can affect vaginal elasticity and lubrication, which in turn can lead to more air getting trapped.
5. Weight Gain or Loss
It might seem unrelated, but changes in body composition can affect pelvic pressure, which may lead to more frequent queefing. If either you or your wife has gained or lost weight recently, it might shift how your bodies interact during sex, leading to more air being trapped.
Anatomy: What’s Happening Down There?
Let’s break down the anatomy behind queefing so we can understand it better. The vagina is essentially a tube-like structure with walls that can expand and contract. It’s designed to accommodate various things—like a baby during childbirth or a penis during sex. When the vagina is at rest, it’s typically collapsed or closed, but during penetration, it stretches and opens up to make room.
Here’s where queefing comes in: When there’s penetration, air can enter the vaginal canal, especially if the angle or movement of sex opens the vagina wider than usual. When the penis (or toy) moves, especially when it’s withdrawn, the air gets pushed back out, creating that signature “queef” sound.
The Role of Pelvic Floor Muscles
Pelvic floor muscles play a huge role in this process. These muscles form a sling that supports your bladder, bowels, and, for women, the uterus. When these muscles are strong and tight, they help prevent air from entering and exiting the vaginal canal. But if the muscles are weakened, it becomes easier for air to sneak in and get trapped.
Can You Prevent Queefing?
You can’t completely prevent queefing—it’s just a part of life—but there are a few things that might reduce the frequency.
1. Kegel Exercises
Kegels are exercises that help strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. If your wife is up for it, adding Kegels to her routine can help tighten the muscles, which may reduce the amount of air that gets trapped during sex. Bonus: Kegels can also lead to stronger orgasms, so this isn’t just about stopping queefing.
To do a Kegel, all you need to do is contract the muscles you would use to stop peeing midstream. Hold for a few seconds, then release. Doing this several times a day can help strengthen the pelvic floor over time.
2. Switch Up Positions
If certain positions lead to more queefing, try experimenting with different ones that might be less likely to trap air. Positions that involve shallower penetration, like spooning or missionary, might help reduce the amount of air getting in. You don’t have to sacrifice pleasure for it, just play around and see what works best for both of you.
3. Use Lube
As mentioned earlier, good lubrication is key to preventing too much friction and the subsequent air-trapping. Make sure your wife is adequately lubricated either naturally or with the help of a water-based or silicone-based lube. The more fluid the movement, the less likely air will get trapped.
4. Take Your Time
Sometimes, rushing through sex or vigorous movements can increase the chances of queefing. If you slow things down and take your time, the likelihood of air getting in may decrease. Plus, slowing down can make the experience more sensual and intimate.
How to Handle Queefing Like a Pro?
Here’s the thing: Queefing is totally normal, but it can still feel awkward, especially if it happens in the middle of an intimate moment. The key is in how you handle it. Instead of ignoring it or, worse, laughing at it (not recommended), here are a few ways to make sure queefing doesn’t ruin the mood:
1. Acknowledge It Lightly
If your wife is feeling embarrassed, the best thing you can do is acknowledge it lightly and move on. You don’t need to make a big deal out of it. A simple comment like, “It’s totally normal” or “Don’t worry about it” can help her relax and let go of the embarrassment.
2. Laugh Together
If both of you have a good sense of humor, laughing together can help diffuse the awkwardness. Sex is supposed to be fun, and queefing is just one of those funny, silly things that happens. If you can laugh it off, it shows your wife that it’s not something to be ashamed of.
3. Don’t Make It About Her
Most importantly, make sure she knows it’s not something she should be self-conscious about. Queefing happens because of the way your bodies are interacting during sex, not because she’s doing something wrong. By taking the pressure off her, you help create a more comfortable, judgment-free space for both of you.
Products That Can Help Reduce Queefing
Okay, so you can’t completely stop queefing from happening, but there are a few products that can help reduce the chances. Here’s where things get fun! Let’s talk about toys and accessories that might make your sex life smoother and queef-free (well, as much as possible).
1. Pelvic Floor Trainers
Pelvic floor trainers are a great tool to help strengthen those all-important muscles. These trainers come in different shapes and sizes, and they’re designed to be inserted into the vagina, where they provide resistance for Kegel exercises.
Recommended product: The Elvie Trainer is a sleek, easy-to-use device that connects to an app on your phone. It gives real-time feedback on your Kegel exercises, helping you track your progress and improve muscle strength.
2. Lubricants
We mentioned earlier that lubrication is key to preventing queefing, and a good lube can make all the difference. Look for a high-quality, long-lasting lubricant that won’t dry out during sex.
Recommended product: Try Sliquid H2O, a water-based lubricant that’s free from harsh chemicals and safe to use with sex toys. It’s a favorite for its natural feel and longevity.
3. Silicone-Based Lubes
If you’re looking for something even slicker, silicone-based lubricants can offer extra smoothness and reduce friction even more. Just be careful not to use them with silicone toys, as they can degrade the material.
Recommended product: Pjur Original Silicone Lube is one of the top-rated silicone lubricants on the market. It’s ultra-slippery, perfect for long sessions, and doesn’t need to be reapplied often.
4. Sex Toys Designed for Deep Stimulation
If deeper penetration is leading to more queefing, consider toys that provide strong stimulation without needing to go too deep. G-spot and clitoral vibrators are great for this, allowing you to have intense pleasure without the air-trapping effects of deeper thrusting.
Recommended product: The LELO SONA Cruise is a clitoral stimulator that uses sonic waves for a completely different kind of orgasm. It’s intense, satisfying, and doesn’t require penetration, so there’s less chance for queefing.
How to Talk About Queefing With Your Partner?
Now that you know what’s causing the queefing and how to reduce it, you might still need to have a conversation with your wife about it. If she’s feeling embarrassed, it’s important to reassure her that this is just one of those things that happens.
Here’s how you can approach the conversation:
- Be Reassuring: Start by letting her know that you’re not bothered by it at all and that you find it totally normal.
- Share What You’ve Learned: If she’s open to it, share some of the information you’ve picked up about why queefing happens. Knowledge can go a long way in making something feel less awkward.
- Suggest Solutions Lightly: If she’s feeling self-conscious, you can suggest some of the tips we’ve discussed here, like trying Kegels or using more lubrication. But make sure to present it as a way to enhance both of your experiences, not as something she “needs” to fix.
- Keep the Mood Light: Queefing isn’t a big deal, and your conversation about it doesn’t need to be, either. Keep things light and humorous if possible.
The Bottom Line
Queefing is just one of those things that happens during sex, and while it can feel embarrassing in the moment, it’s completely normal. Whether it’s due to a change in positions, a shift in pelvic floor strength, or something as simple as a lack of lubrication, there’s no need for your wife (or you) to feel awkward about it.
By understanding the causes and learning a few tricks to reduce its occurrence, you can keep your sex life fun and queef-free (or at least, queef-minimized). And remember, the most important thing is that both of you feel comfortable and confident in the bedroom. If you can laugh it off and move on, that’s half the battle won!