Hey, beautiful! Let’s take a deep dive into a topic that’s intriguing, relatable, and definitely spicy—Symbiosexuality. Ever caught yourself being irresistibly drawn to someone who’s already committed? Maybe it’s your best friend’s partner, that gorgeous colleague with a ring on their finger, or someone in a high-profile relationship. You know they’re taken, but somehow, that just adds to the appeal. Well, darling, what you’re feeling has a name—symbiosexuality.
Symbiosexuality is more common than you might think, and it’s been happening throughout history. There are layers to it—psychological, emotional, and societal—and in this blog, we’re going to unravel every last one of them. So grab your drink, get comfy, and let’s talk about why we might be drawn to people who are already spoken for.
What Exactly Is Symbiosexuality?
Symbiosexuality is the attraction to people who are already in committed relationships. It’s not about simply admiring someone; it’s about feeling a genuine pull toward them, knowing that they’re unavailable. The intrigue, the excitement of the unattainable, the secret fantasies—all of that falls under symbiosexuality.
But why? Why are we drawn to the forbidden? Why does it make someone more appealing when they already have a partner? Let’s dive into some psychology, history, and culture to get to the root of this.
A Historical Perspective: This Isn’t New, Darling!
Before we jump into the juicy details of why you might be crushing on that taken cutie, let’s take a little trip back in time. Symbiosexuality, or attraction to those already spoken for, is nothing new. In fact, some of the most famous love stories in history revolve around this concept. Think Cleopatra and Julius Caesar—Cleopatra wasn’t just an Egyptian queen; she had that undeniable allure, attracting powerful, already-committed men.
Similarly, in medieval Europe, romantic love often centered around unattainable, married individuals. Courtly love was a whole thing, where knights would swear loyalty and devotion to married noblewomen. The fact that these women were already taken wasn’t a turn-off—in fact, it added a layer of mystery, intrigue, and nobility to the romance.
Then there’s Lancelot and Guinevere, one of the most famous love triangles in legend. King Arthur’s wife, Guinevere, falls in love with his knight, Lancelot. Their love was seen as noble but tragic, with the unattainability of their relationship only heightening its emotional impact.
The point? History shows us that the allure of the unavailable isn’t just a modern-day experience. Symbiosexuality has been alive and kicking for centuries.
The Psychology Behind Symbiosexuality
Now let’s get into the science of it. What is it about taken individuals that can make them so alluring?
The “Forbidden Fruit” Effect
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “We want what we can’t have,” right? Well, that’s at play here. When someone is off-limits, they automatically become more desirable. The fact that they’re committed to someone else adds an air of mystery, challenge, and—let’s be real—sexiness. It’s like wanting the last pair of shoes in your size that someone else is trying on. The competition makes you want it even more.
Scarcity Breeds Desire
From an evolutionary standpoint, humans are wired to value scarcity. If something—or someone—is harder to get, our brains interpret that as a sign that they’re more valuable. If someone’s in a relationship, it’s like they’ve already been “chosen,” and our subconscious minds might say, “Oh, if they’re good enough for someone else, they must be really great!”
The Appeal of Security and Stability
When someone is in a relationship, they might seem more stable, loving, or reliable. For some, this signals that they could be a good partner—if they were single. Their relationship status shows that they’re capable of commitment, which can be a major draw for people who are tired of casual flings or unreliable partners.
Validation of Self-Worth
Here’s the tea: sometimes, symbiosexuality is about you, not them. The idea of winning over someone who is already taken can feel like the ultimate ego boost. It’s like saying, “Look how irresistible I am! I can make someone reconsider their entire relationship just for me.” While it might not be the healthiest motivation, it’s definitely a factor in why someone taken becomes more appealing.
The Challenge and the Chase
Let’s be honest. Who doesn’t love a challenge? There’s a thrill in chasing someone who’s already spoken for. It’s not just about attraction—it’s about conquering, about proving to yourself (and sometimes others) that you can win them over. It’s like a game, and for some people, the pursuit is more exciting than the prize.
The Role of Evolutionary Psychology
Evolution also plays a part in symbiosexuality. If we dig into evolutionary psychology, we can find clues about why this attraction happens. Back in the day, our ancestors were all about survival and passing on their genes. So, it made sense to seek out mates who were already “approved” by others. A person in a relationship may have seemed like a safer bet—they were already capable of bonding, providing, and surviving.
This might explain why, to this day, some of us still feel drawn to people in relationships. It’s a throwback to our primal instincts. Seeing someone as already chosen signals to our ancient brains that they’re high-quality and desirable.
The Cultural Impact: Movies, Media, and Symbiosexuality
If you’re wondering why this is so common in modern times, you don’t have to look much further than pop culture. How many movies, TV shows, and books are built around love triangles or people falling for someone who’s already taken? Tons!
Think of iconic stories like Bridget Jones’s Diary, The Notebook, or even more highbrow literary works like Anna Karenina. We’ve been spoon-fed the idea that pursuing someone already in a relationship is thrilling, romantic, and sometimes even noble. In pop culture, it’s often framed as the ultimate love story.
Even in the world of celebrity gossip, how often do we see stories about famous figures being pursued or involved in love triangles? These narratives can shape how we view relationships and even make it seem like desiring someone who’s already taken is a normal, even glamorous, part of romance.
The Ethical Dilemma: Is It Wrong to Feel This Way?
Let’s pause for a second. Just because symbiosexuality is common doesn’t mean it’s free from consequences. Relationships are built on trust, loyalty, and commitment, so getting involved with someone who’s already taken can lead to emotional chaos. You might find yourself dealing with guilt, jealousy, or the weight of betraying someone else’s trust. It’s complicated, babe.
Respect the Boundaries
Even if there’s chemistry, it’s essential to respect the boundaries of the relationship they’re in. Crossing those lines can lead to hurt feelings, betrayal, and broken hearts. Trust me, the temporary thrill of pursuing someone taken rarely ends well.
The Emotional Rollercoaster
Getting involved with someone in a relationship is like signing up for a ride on an emotional rollercoaster. There’s the thrill of the chase, sure, but there’s also the potential for heartbreak, drama, and guilt. And let’s not forget the other person—whether it’s their partner or even you—there’s often someone who ends up hurt.
Why Do You Want Them?
Here’s a bold truth: sometimes, being attracted to unavailable people has more to do with avoiding intimacy than with true desire. Ask yourself—are you drawn to people in relationships because it feels safer than being vulnerable with someone who’s completely available? Are you afraid of true emotional intimacy? These are tough questions but worth exploring.
The Symbiosexual Attraction to Power: More Than Just Love
Symbiosexuality isn’t always about love or romance. Sometimes, it’s about being attracted to the power dynamics involved. Think about the allure of dating someone high-profile or wealthy who’s already taken. Their social status, wealth, or power can heighten the attraction. This happens in corporate environments, social circles, and—of course—celebrity culture. When someone is highly desirable in society, their taken status can make them seem even more unattainable and thus more attractive.
In Conclusion: Understanding and Owning Your Desires
At the end of the day, symbiosexuality is a multi-layered form of attraction that’s as old as time itself. From Cleopatra to medieval romances to modern celebrity crushes, being attracted to someone who’s already taken is a tale as old as history. Whether it’s the allure of the unattainable, the thrill of the chase, or the desire for validation, symbiosexuality taps into something deep within us. But it’s important to be aware of what’s driving those feelings and, more importantly, how you choose to act on them.
Embrace your desires, explore them, but always keep respect—both for yourself and others—at the forefront. You deserve someone who’s available, open, and ready to give you the love you crave.
Until next time, keep it bold, sexy, and always put yourself first.