The female orgasm has been long studied, and yet it seems like it's one of the hardest concepts for men to grasp. No shade intended, I promise. It is simple statistics, really. Roughly eighty-one percent of women do not orgasm during intercourse, unless stimulated by something other than penetration (ie clitoral pay, toy use, etc). It's sad really, that the human sex that is capable of multiple orgasms in one session, has the most difficulty achieving even a single one!
As a straight female, I can attest to the statistics. I can count the number of orgasms caused solely by penetration. And it really isn't anyone's fault. Anatomically, a female orgasm is not required for reproduction, therefore, the most erogenous parts of the female body are not in the actual vagina. As most of us know, the epicenter of female orgasms is the clitoris. The clitoris has over 10,000 nerves attached to it, all with the single task of sending waves of pleasure up its owner's body. Often, the clitoris is the VIP of orgasms and sexual pleasure. Most of the sex industry revolves around pleasing this tiny body part as well. For instance, our best sellers like The Rose Collection and the The Snail Vibe were designed purely for clitoral play. Of course they come with additional functions, such as dildo for simultaneous penetration, and additional features like licking/sucking for nipple stimulation, but their main purpose is to arouse the clitoris to help you have an orgasm before, during, and/or after intercourse. Another option a partner has is performing cunnilingus or using their fingers to -- again -- arouse the clitoris and help the clit owner reach climax.
Additionally, nipple orgasms are also possible in the female (and male) body. I know, it sounds odd and perhaps even impossible, but I promise you, it's real and totally doable. The nipples, although not as sensitive as the clitoral, are also very sensitive erogenous zones. They may not consist of thousands of nerves, but they do have hundreds that are responsible for pleasure signals. The pleasure signals stimulated nipples send to the brain are the same exact signals clitoral and vaginal stimulation emit. Similar to clitoral stimulation, nipple stimulation requires a mood, some imagination, and some wandering hands or helpful vibrators. When you're ready to explore with nipple play, the important thing to remember is to build up anticipation. Playing around with other erogenous zones as one gets closer to the breast and specifically, nipple, can help tremendously in getting turned on and ready for an orgasm.
Once you're completely in the mood, begin rubbing nipples slowly with your fingers, and one by one introduce a bit of pinching and twisting. You should play around with pressure to see what feels best. The trick is to bring yourself at the edge of an orgasm and pull back, doing so a couple of times until you're finally ready to let it go and enjoy the explosion. This is absolutely achievable with nipple play alone, but if you'd like to also include additional stimulators, such as the clit, by all means, go to town! It's YOUR me-time, have fun and please yourself however you choose!
I realize that the nipple play can be tricky and I just provided the sparknotes of the sparknotes, so for a helpful step-by-step breakdown, feel free to check out Healthline's blog post here.
Finally, the statistically less achievable orgasm: the vaginal orgasm. If you're a female who hasn't been able to experience one of these, you're not alone and there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're also not missing out on anything if you've experienced any other kind of orgasm. Orgasms are all pleasurable, satisfying, amazing, and absolutely perfect as long as you're enjoying them, regardless of which erogenous zone or method got you there. The vaginal orgasm is a bit more difficult to obtain only because the G-spot (a specific spot about 2 inches inside the front vaginal wall) is often difficult to find and/or reach. For a a vaginal orgasm to occur, the person should first (obviously) get aroused and lubricated (whether naturally or with additional synthetic lubricant). Then, the object or body part of choice (dildo, wand, penis, etc) can be inserted into the vagina up towards the belly button and followed with a "come hither" motion. This specific motion has been found to stimulate the G-spot enough for an orgasm. Additional tips for vaginal orgasm can be found here!
You've probably read enough at this point and feel ready for action... or at least I hope so! With the tips we've discussed, you're guaranteed an orgasm (whether you're receiving or giving it to self or someone else). The most important tip to keep in mind is to be open, explorative, and focus on having fun. Fun and pleasure are besties, and therefore, cannot be separated. As long as you're having fun, you're bound to find what works for you (and/or your partner). And inversely, what's more fun than a full O? 😉
Happy Orgasming!
XOXO