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Neglected Aftercare and Support in BDSM Relationships

Crystal Hemworth |

You find yourself in this confusing situation, seeking guidance and support as you grapple with the absence of aftercare from your Dom. Maybe you've tried to communicate with your D Type but it has taken a disconcerting turn, leaving you unsure of what steps to take.

The disparity between your expectations and reality is going to leave you questioning the future of your relationship. In this blog, we're going to explore the complexities of unmet needs and offer insight into potential courses of action.

Let us paint a picture for you to understand this better..

Imagine that you started living together with your D type and that has unveiled a different side of your Dom. You observe a decline in his commitment to providing aftercare. In the early days, he excelled in catering to your emotional and physical well-being, demonstrating a profound understanding of your needs. However, a pattern has emerged, with him abruptly ending scenes, focusing on his own distractions, and disregarding your emotional state.

There are submissives who have experienced that during an intense scene, their Dominants sudden disengagement shattering the serene space they were immersed in. Rather than tending to their vulnerable state, the D prioritising his phone, leaving them feeling ignored and questioning the dynamics of their relationship. In this moment of despair, it is important to recognize that your feelings are valid, deserving of care and attention.

To address this disconnection
It is essential to engage in open and honest communication outside the boundaries of your dynamic. Initiate a conversation where both parties can express their thoughts and concerns, fostering an environment of mutual understanding. Sharing your emotions, fears, and expectations can help shed light on the situation and provide an opportunity for growth.

Even if you've communicated, it can go wrong
In some instances, miscommunication can be the root cause of such behavior. It is possible that expectations were not explicitly discussed or may have evolved over time. In this best-case scenario, engaging in open dialogue can bring about positive change. However, be cautious if your Dom consistently exhibits a lack of empathy and fails to acknowledge your distress.

Recognise that no kink or sexual exploration should leave you feeling miserable or used. These experiences should be consensual, enjoyable, and foster a sense of fulfilment. By continuing in this emotionally abusive dynamic, you risk compromising your mental health and overall happiness.

Now, more than ever, it is vital to reach out to your support network. Share your experiences with friends, family, or professionals who can offer guidance and assistance. It may be helpful to seek counsel from individuals who can provide objective perspectives and help you navigate this challenging situation.

When seeking support, it is not necessary to disclose the specific dynamics of your relationship. Instead, focus on communicating your unhappiness and feelings of mistreatment. Those who care about your well-being will rally behind you, offering a helping hand and the encouragement you need to move forward.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey. While it may be frustrating to consider leaving a relationship, especially one involving kink or BDSM, prioritising your own emotional well-being is essential. Trust your instincts and surround yourself with a support system that empowers you to make choices that are in your best interest.

In conclusion, while it is important to initiate open communication and explore the possibility of miscommunication, be cautious if your needs continue to go unmet or are dismissed. Prioritising your emotional health is paramount, and seeking support from your network can provide the strength and guidance needed to navigate this challenging situation.

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