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Breaking Taboos: The Evolution of Cuckoldry in the 21st Century

Crystal Hemworth |

Traditionally, a cuckold was simply a Penis Owner whose spouse engaged in infidelity, characterized by consensual extramarital relations between a married person and someone other than their partner. Conversely, a cuckquean referred to a Pussy Possessor in a similar situation, where her husband engaged in adultery.

The primary question centred around whether the cuckold or cuckquean would uncover their spouse's infidelity, commonly referred to as 'cheating.' In cases of disclosure, divorce often followed, although there have been moments of reconciliation, accompanied by promises to refrain from future missteps. Such scenarios were thought to exist in clear-cut terms of right and wrong.

As time passed, married couples often found that their sex became a routine, less exciting, and happened less often, or even not at all. The routine of being committed to one person sometimes made their married life boring, making it easier for one or both partners to cheat. Research showed that a lot of husbands (up to two-thirds) and many wives (half of them) cheated on their spouses. This challenges the idea that staying faithful in marriage is very common, showing that it might not be as true as people think.

The 1960s and 1970s marked the era of the 'Sexual Revolution,' challenging traditional norms of sexual conduct and relationships. Advocating for acceptance of extramarital relations, this movement, fueled by the advent of the birth control pill, saw a surge in 'no strings attached' among singles and the rise of 'consensual non-monogamy' within married couples.

This consensual adultery took various forms, including 'Open Marriages,' 'Swinger Lifestyles,' and the BDSM lifestyle, where a Dominant asserted control over a submissive couple, often referred to as a 'sub cuck' couple.

In the world of consensual adultery, those in Open and Swinger lifestyles refrained from identifying as cuckolds, as their engagements did not involve unfaithfulness or cheating. However, distinctions emerged within the consensual adultery, leading to categorizations.

An alternative lifestyle, known as 'Shared Wife' or 'Hot Wife,' surfaced, permitting only wives to engage in consensual adultery. Unlike Open and Swinger lifestyles, some men in Shared Wife scenarios embraced the label of cuckold, despite the absence of unfaithfulness in their consensual arrangements. This distinction highlighted the nature of cuckoldry based on the roles and motivations of husbands, wives, and other involved parties in the context of consensual adultery.

Modern Categorisation of Cuckolds

Modern cuckoldry shows up in various groups, each with its own details and differences.
  • The first group includes Traditional Cuckolds who don't know their wives are cheating. This happens a lot when wives cheat for different reasons. Most cuckolds in the United States are probably in this group.
  • The second group includes Wittols or Acquiescent Cuckolds. These are husbands who know about and tolerate their wives being unfaithful, even though they didn't agree to it directly. Some husbands go along with it because they're afraid their marriage might end if they don't, while others may not be able to make their wives happy in bed but still don't want them to see other people.
  • Similar to this are Assenting Cuckolds. These are husbands who, because they feel they may not be as big, fast, or good in bed, allow their wives to find satisfaction with someone else. Even though these husbands know their wives don't see them as very manly, they put up with it to keep being a good partner and provider in the marriage.
  • The third group, Compersion Cuckolds or Compersons, experience pleasure from knowing or fantasising about their partners' emotional or sexual involvement with others. Often initiated by husbands seeking to infuse excitement into their marital sex life, this group includes Shared Wives or Hot Wives who engage in consensual adultery negotiated with their husbands.

    Unlike husbands who reluctantly accept their wives' affairs (Acquiescent and Assenting Cuckolds), those with Shared Wives often don't like being called "cuckold." They prefer terms like 'Stag/Vixen.' Sharing wives, surprisingly, makes their marriages stronger by encouraging honest talk, trust, and closeness.

    • Lastly, there's a group called submissive cuckolds or 'sub cucks' in BDSM. In these relationships, both partners like to be submissive. Sometimes, it's tricky for them to organise things, so dominant figures or 'Dom/Bulls' take charge. Sub cucks happily follow the instructions of their Dom/Bulls, and they might experience humiliation by acts like cleaning up by giving cunnilingus or even feminisation in some cases.

    To conclude, Cuckoldry is changing because of the Sexual Revolution and how people think about staying faithful. Understanding why husbands, wives, and others do what they do helps us see the different groups in cuckoldry today. This helps us understand it better. In consensual cheating, things are not just right or wrong; there are more details to consider. Whatever you decide to do, make sure it pleases you as much as it pleases your partner! Happy Fucking xo 

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